RPG Academy
by Soldier Boy
Summary: A ditz healer, a royal swordsman, a consciousless mage, and a shooter with the mind of a seven year old forced to live and work together to pass Adventure's School. What could go wrong?
1. Humble Beginnings

The McCloud School for Adventurers. A floating academy for the training of the men and women who will be the heroes of the future. Freshman students begin learning their chosen craft, be it shooter, swordsman, white or black mage, the four parts of the quadrupe. They will learn the purpose of their class, their strengths and weaknesses. They will become intimately familiar with the tools of their trade and learn skills and techniques that will serve them well in their futures. This is also the phase in which discipline is instilled in the students. There will be many sleepless nights and disciplinary actions are common for even minor infractions. Upon completion of their freshman year, the students are considered apprentices to their craft class. They have earned the right to wear and/or use the garments or equipment associated with their class on a day-to-day basis, as well as being promoted to level 2.

The sophomore year will find the students dormed together into the parties selected by the Council of the Quadrupe. The dorm will house one student of each class. The parties they are assigned to will be their parties for the remainder of their time at McCloud School, and often much longer than that. The focus of this year is learning to work as a group, utilizing the special skills presented by each member, as well as minimizing each member's unique weaknesses. Their graduation to Juniors is dependant on their completion of 'the Gauntlet', an obstacle course requiring the unique skills of each class to be used together, the students must not only be proficient with their own skills, but also work together with absolute harmony. Beginning in their sophomore year, the students will be assigned field tasks in semi-supervised environments, the exercises growing more and more difficult to match their growing skill levels, culminating their senior year in an approximately one month-long exercise at N.E.S. Field, a massive simulation range based just below the school on solid earth.

Their junior year is mainly a study of history and advanced theories and tactics. The students will learn the rich histories and tales of past adventurer/heros, ranging from the Chosen One to the School's founder, Dean McCloud. The students will be required to retain much of this information, and will be tested on it in their Junior Final, also known by the students as 'the Beast'. 'The Beast' is a forty page, three hundred question multiple-choice and short answer test, with one essay question, drawing from all three years of their training.

The senior year is spent sharpening skills and practicing party tactics, mainly a preparation for N.E.S. Field. The number of field problems during this year will be less than in the previous two years, usually limited to two or less. This is to allow them time to prepare themselves for 'the field'. Much time is spent studying bestiaries, mixing potions, practicing spells, and maintaining weapons. Black mages tend to spend long periods of time meditating in silence in their rooms, creating and practicing new spells. White mages will usually be very busy mixing potions and praying for the safety of the party. The shooter will be finishing customizing his weapons and zeroing in any new optics, as well as spending large amounts of time at the range. The swordsman will spend time in either one of two places, the smithy or the enchantment room. Part of his senior curriculum requires him to manufacture his own sword, as well as have it enchanted (the student providing any required supplies, of course).

The N.E.S. Field exercise will pit them against almost any problem they will find as adventurers. Finding keys and/or items, bartering for food and goods, rescuing damsels in distress, destroying goblin infestations, among other things, and will culminate with the defeat of a dragon.

Room 556

The dorm consisted of a common room with a large TV and DVD player, two couches, a coffee table, several chairs and a chess board, as well as a large storage cabinet for generic supplies. The bathroom opened to the right side, a bath/shower combo, a toilet and a simple sink with a mirror over it. The kitchen was pushed to the left side, just a sink, refrigerator, pantry, coffee maker, stove and microwave. Four doors, one for each of the students opened into the common room. All had several things in common, a small bed, a dresser, a computer, a desk and chair. But each classes' room contained different equipment. For the shooter, it was a weapons rack and a secure cabinet. For the black mage, a stand for his spell book, candle nooks along the walls, as well as a large bookshelf for his arcane tomes. The white mage had a large table covered with various alchemical tools and equipment. And the swordsman had a grind wheel and a small training dummy.

The three sophomore students walked into their new dorm, met with the sound of snores as soon as they entered.

"What the fuck is that?" Mike asked.

Mike was a medium height, medium built male with black hair and dark eyes. He wore the traditional black robe that he had just earned after the completion of his freshman year. The robe was held together at the waist by a small black leather belt, hung with pouches containing scrolls and spell components.

"I think someone's using a chainsaw." David replied.

David was slightly taller than normal, brown hair and blue eyes, he wore a loose tunic and pants, a large sword sheathed on his back. He too wore a belt with pouches hold his various gear.

"It's our new room mate! Yay!" Jen yelled happily.

Jen was an attractive looking young woman. Her dark hair and blue eyes going nicely with her slightly short stature and slight build that was never the less well filled out. She had also just recently earned the right to wear her class's defining garment, the white robe. Her belt had several pouches along the sides and a large one on the left side, all filled to the bulging point with herbs, potions, balms, salves and various other healing supplies.

She ran into the shooter's room. He was laying straight with his arms at his sides, completely dressed, on top of his bed, which had been made to military standards, right down to the hospital corners. And he was sound asleep.

"Hi new roomie!" she yelled as she poked him.

He yelled a death cry as he reached for the empty holster on his right thigh.

He patted his thigh several times searching for the pistol that wasn't there. He looked down at it as his hand came up empty. He suddenly looked around remembering where he was and grinned almost sheepishly.

"Hi. I'm Eric, but my buddies call me Gunner." he said as he stood up and got out of bed.

Gunner was a nominally tall and lanky individual, the tallest of the four. Brown-haired and hazel eyed, he radiated an air of mischief and probably slightly misplaced confidence. His hair was cut in a high-and-tight, and he was dressed in camouflaged pants, boots and a brown Underarmour t-shirt. He wore a load-bearing vest and pistol belt over his t-shirt. The majority of the pockets and pouches, as well of both of his holsters and his sheath were empty. The only things that were full were the canteens in their pouches on his belt.

The other three had been watching the happenings closely.

"What was this?" David asked, miming Gunner's search for his missing pistol.

"Oh, yeah. When I was freshman, they took up my weapons and only issued them to me when I needed them. I miss them. I'm going to pick them up later today. Since I'm a sophomore now I can carry them around with me or lock them up in my 'rack." he said happily, pointing to his weapons rack.

"Right. Well, we're just gonna move our stuff in, so if you could, please avoid shooting us." Mike said.

"Meh." Gunner said as he left the dorm.

"He seems nice!" Jen said.

The next day, Cafeteria

Gunner, Jen, Mike and David walked into the cafeteria and went their separate ways to sit their classes. The shooters were discussing the new AMS-12 laser rifle and the latest first-person shooter. The black mages sat in almost complete silence, floating food to themselves from the buffet. The swordsman used their weapons to chop up their food as they ate, debating fighting styles. The White mages just...gossiped. A lot. All the would-be adventurers sat in the huge hall, eating until the bell rang, signaling the five minute period before the beginning of class. All the students stood up and began to exit, except for the shooters. All but three or four of them remained in place. Jen was almost to the door, when she suddenly turned around.

"What is he doing!" Jen said.

"They always do that. My shooter hasn't been to his next class since school started." another white mage said as she passed Jen.

"Yeah well, Gunner's not."

"Suit yourself." the other white mage said and shrugged.

Jen walked over to the table. The shooters were mostly male, but a few females were mixed in with them. They were dressed in an assortment of camouflages, body armour, bandoliers and load-bearing gear. As she walked up, they were having an argument about which was the best weapon system, plasma, laser or hard-round.

"Look, all I'm saying is that plasma is a very volatile system. One good hit, and you're vapor. And not even good smelling vapor." Gunner said, gesturing with his hands.

"Yeah but still, if you consider-" another began.

"Gunner!" Jen yelled.

"What?"

"You need to go to class."

"I will."

"NOW."

"Why? I'm just gonna sleep anyway."

"What! Do you sleep in all your classes?"

"No, that's stupid. Sometimes I daydream or doodle. I got a wicked picture of Ms. Carlisle getting assimilated by the Borg. Wanna see?"

"No. Do you pay attention in any of your classes?"

"In my shooter class. It's fun."

"How the hell did you pass your first year?"

"Heh. I almost didn't first semester. My second semester there was this white mage who had the hots for me. You guys remember Hannah?"

Several of the other shooters laughed.

She helped me out."

"Do I even want to know what happened to her?"

"Yeah. It turns out she was emotionally unstable. She got real possessive, hit another white mage because she thought 'she was looking at me too much'. It was kinda creepy. So I dumped her. Then she freaked out and threatened to kill me, and I had to spend a couple days hiding out 'til she was taken away. The boiler room's actually pretty nice, and the mold adds a splash of color. She's in one of those institutes now, I think."

"Well that doesn't matter. You're coming to class right NOW."

"Make me-oooowwwwwwwww!"

Jen grabbed Gunner by the ear and began dragging him to class, much to the amusement of his fellow shooters.

Adventuring 201 Classroom

"And so, when confronted with a-" Professor McGee stopped.

"Student Gunner, would you please read rule number five of my classroom?" he said.

"Uhh, sure. No animals in the classroom."

"Is there something you would like to show the class?" the instructor asked, pointing to Gunner's backpack, which was heaving next to his desk.

"I don't know what you're talking about, sir." he said, trying hard to keep a straight face.

Gunner's bag suddenly let out a loud "HONK!"

"A goose? Open the bag RIGHT now, student."

Gunner sighed and opened his bag. A very angry goose flew from the opening, made a beeline for, and landing on the professor's desk.

"Student, why do you have my golden-egg laying goose?" he asked with a tinge of amusement at the audacity of the student's prank.

"She looked uhh...lonely. And I was just gonna take her out to see some of the male geese by the pond. Maybe get a little jiggy with it, you know sir."

At this point the class broke out in laughter.

"Student Gunner, stay after class for your punishment. The rest of you are free to go."

Three hours later, Room 556

"So what did he make you do?" Mike asked with a smile.

"He said that since I cared so much about the goose, I could clean her cage. I'm going to take a shower." he said as he opened the door to the bathroom.

"No Gunner! Don't-" David began, but he was too late.

"EEEEEEK! PERVERT!" Jen's voice came from the bathroom.

The sound of a hammer striking flesh and bone followed.

"OW! What the hell!" Gunner yelled, staggering back through the door, holding his head with both hands.

"You can lock the fucking door you know!" he yelled as he slammed it shut.

"The lock doesn't work. We tried to warn you." David stated.

"Heh heh. No we didn't." Mike said.

"Well, I tried to warn you."

Gunner went and rummaged through the freezer, pulling out a bag of frozen peas.

"You're a load of help, Mike."

"I try."

"And where did the hammer come from?"

Jen came out of the bathroom fully dressed several minutes later, running over to Gunner.

"Oh my God! Did I do that!" she asked, seeing the large bump on his noggin.

"Yes."

"Ohhhh, lemme fix it! She said, suddenly switching into mother mode and reaching into one of her pouches.

"No." Gunner said.

"But I-"

"No. You've done enough already. Leave me alone."

"But-"

"No." Gunner said as he got up and went into the bathroom.

The Next Day, Room 556

"Whaddaya mean 'we have to go to the field'!" Mike yelled.

"I mean I volunteered for an extra credit assignment and I need some rare herbs. So we're going to Red Field."

"Man, but that's all the way across the 'island' from here." Mike said.

"Alright! Our first field exercise! When do we leave!" Gunner said.

"Uhmm, tomorrow, we need to be at the main gates at 10 in the morning." Jen replied.

"What are we gettin'?" Gunner asked, a tone of excitement akin to that of a small child in his voice.

"Wolfsbane."

"Man, when am I gonna study?" Mike asked.

"Hey Jen, I need a copy of the assignment." Gunner said.

"What?"

"I need a copy of the assignment so I can draw munitions to avoid using stuff from my stash."

"He gave me four copies. Here you go." she said as she pulled a sheet of paper out of her backpack.

"Woohoo!" Gunner practically yelled and ran out of the room.

"He worries me. A little." Jen said.

Gunner returned about fifteen minutes later, carrying a ruck full of stuff, as well as a large ammo can in each hand. Despite the weight he was carrying, he ran quickly into his room and put down the supplies. He ran back to the general supplies cabinet and started rummaging around, throwing gear on the floor.

"Lemme see, flares, map and compass, rope, of course, sunscreen-"

"Gunner, we know what we need. Don't worry." David said.

"Ok." Gunner said, grabbing several of the items and scampering back to his room.

"What an odd little man." David said.

"You mean a freak." Mike said.

"I heard that!" Gunner yelled over the various metallic clicks and clacks coming from his room.

The Next Morning, Main Gates

"This is sweet! I wonder how we're gettin' there! Airship, magic carpet, teleportation!" Gunner said.

Just then a beaten-up crew cab pick-up truck drove up to them.

"Oh." Gunner said.

The four piled in. Gunner rode in the bed and pulled security, something that he insisted was necessary. The truck drove for almost an hour, before stopping at the edge of a forest. The four piled out, and Gunner shouldered his ruck.

"Alright kiddies, just call the main office when your done! Bye!" Prof. McGee yelled as he drove away.

"Well, what now?" David asked.

"I have a map to where it's supposed to be."

"Lemme see." Gunner said, producing a compass with one hand and grabbing the map with the other.

Gunner started muttering and pointing at the map.

"Lemme see, Arroyo road is...here. So we're...here. Objective's...there. Which means we go..." Gunner said handing her back the map and turning to his compass.

He looked at it for several seconds.

"That way." he said, pointing.

"You sure?" Jen asked.

"Yeah."

"I thought you didn't pay attention in class."

"Alright, first of all I never said that. Second, I learned this back in my time in the 'Scouts. I can land-nav in my sleep." Gunner said as he started to walk through the woods. They moved through the woods for several uneventful hours before they stopped for lunch. David passed out bread, hard cheese and summer sausage, all sliced personally. Mike started to sit down.

"I wouldn't sit.there."

"I wouldn't sit there." he said in a mocking tone.

"Why not?"

"Because that's poison ivy." Gunner said as he took a bite.

He looked around and seemed to be listening intently as he finished his meal.

"I'm uh..I'm gonna go use the green latrine." Gunner said as he went back into the woods, moving silently through the foliage. He returned several minutes later.

"I think we should start moving soon." he said in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Ok, we're done anyway." David said.

"Let's move."

The four continued to walk for about an hour, Gunner looking around or checking his compass every couple of minutes. The sky began to prematurely darken, and Gunner began to become slightly antsy. He looked around as they walked, until they came to a location Gunner liked. The area was a clearing, about thirty feet across, with low grass and a tree line that was thin on the edges, gradually thickening to the same density as the rest of the woods. A position he considered relatively easily defendable.

"Let's camp for the night here."

"Ok!" Jen said, plopping down and pulling out her bedroll.

"Hey Mike, you wanna make a fire pit? Me and David are gonna go get some firewood.

"Whatever." Mike said as he leaved against a tree and began to float rocks to make a ring.

David and Gunner walked out to the wood line and began to pick-up sticks and branches.

"David, I need you to help me, and keep it quiet." he said as he continued gathering.

"Yeah?"

"Since before lunch we've been being followed."

"What?"

"Yeah, I had my suspicions for a while. Remember when I went to piss? I went and confirmed it.. Goblins."

"But they're cowards. They won't do anything."

"Maybe while we're awake. I'm gonna take first and last shift. Will you take the second?"

"Uh yeah, what do I do?"

"Just keep the fire going and stay awake. Like you said, they won't attack if someone's awake."

"Cool." David said.

By now they were each loaded to the max with fire wood, and trundled back to the campsite. The two dropped their loads near the fire ring, and threw a few pieces in the ring.

"Mike?"

"Yeah, yeah." Mike said as he shot a small fireball at the dry wood, igniting it instantly.

By this point, it was almost pitch dark, and cloudy.

"Wow, it got dark fast." Jen said.

"And soon. That's weird." Mike said.

Mike, Jen, and David settled into their bedrolls. Gunner just sat with his back facing the firepit.

"Aren't you gonna go to bed, Gunner?"

"Nah, I'm not tired yet. Y'all go ahead." he said as he quietly checked the action on his rifle, starring into the wood line.

He could occasionally hear the slightest movement, barely see them moving at the edge of his vision. Gunner watched for three hours before he woke up David.

"Let's go."

"Alright, alright." he said groggily as he crawled from his bedroll.

"Try not to look at the fire. It'll ruin your night attenuation." Gunner said as he patted David on the back as he passed him on the way to his bedroll. Gunner set his watch to wake him in three hours and went to sleep.

Three Hours Later, Observation Room at McCloud Academy

"The events you requested have been set in order, Dean McCloud."

"Excellent. This batch has the potential to be one of the best we've turned out. But they seem to be unable to work together. Especially the shooter and black mage."

"Well, let's see how they do left with only each other."

Red Field

Gunner's watch beeped, waking him from dreams of things best not discussed in mixed company. He crawled from his bedroll, and noticed Jen wasn't there.

'Probably had to use the wood line.' he thought.

Then he realized David was missing. He looked for several minutes, all he found was a sword and a pile of cloths with a frog sitting on it. As he turned to keep looking, the frog followed him. Gunner suddenly had a bad feeling.

"David?"

"Ribbit!" the frog croaked.

"Fuck! Well, come on." Gunner said as he grabbed his cloths and sword.

"Mike! We have a problem!"

"You're damn right we do, wakin' me up in the middle of the friggin' night!"

"This is serious! I think the goblins got Jen!" Gunner said as he examined the area around her bedroll with a red-lensed flashlight.

"Goblins?" Mike said, not believing a word of it.

"Here, check out the foot prints. They carried her off."

"And we didn't hear it why?"

"They transmogrified David. They've got a mage. Probably a sleep spell."

"We've got to go get help."

"I agree." Gunner said as he pulled out his cell phone.

"That won't work. This whole forest is blocked. I can feel it." Mike said.

"Then we go get her." Gunner said, beginning to check all his weapons.

"What? There's just two of us! Against-do you even know how many there are!"

"Nope."

"Do you know where they are?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna assume they went back to the goblin fort."

"Uh-huh. And that's just marked on a map, for everyone to find."

"Actually, yeah." Gunner said, digging through Jen's bag and pulling out her map.

He put David's cloths in her nearly empty pack, carefully placing David in on top of them and then closed up her pack. He stuffed in into his pack and strapped David's sword to the side. The cloudy sky suddenly began to rain.

"Let's go." he said.

"Fuck you! I'm goin' for help."

"Then you're going alone." Gunner said.

"You're fuckin' crazy!"

"We can't leave her! We can't wait for reinforcements either! We don't know what they're doin' to her; how long she's got!" he yelled, the rain dripping from his boonie hat, far from making him look wretched and pathetic, added a subtle intensity to his demeanor.

"Nobody get's left behind." he said more quietly.

"You're crazy. Goodbye." Mike said as he walked away.

Gunner began his slow, stealthy, five mile movement to the goblin fort. He evaded the sentries (by sneaking up behind them and slitting their throat), and began his recon of the fort. He found two ways in, the main gate, which was closed, barred and locked, and a sewage trench leading under one of the walls..

'Damnit. I KNEW I should've brought demolitions.' he thought was he stuck a condom, which he just happened to have, over the barrel of his rifle. He quickly pulled the pair of goggles set over the brim of his hat down to cover his eyes before lowering himself into the trench.

Gunner held his breath as he ducked his head beneath the surface to pass under the wall. Gunner 'swam' through the foul-smelling sludge. He surfaced, just in time to catch a goblin using the trench, his stream landing on Gunner's face. The goblin began screaming his head off as Gunner raised the barrel of his rifle above the sludge and fired, the force knocking the small creature back several meters. Gunner pulled himself up and out of the trench, and began running for the nearest building. As he opened the door, he realized just what the building was. A barracks. The goblins squealed with delight as they picked up their swords and hatches and ran at him. Gunner smiled as he flicked his selector switch to auto and emptied the magazine into the advancing horde, the sound of gunfire echoing across the fort.

"I wonder what that was." Jen said, before returning to filing her nails in her cell.

He threw his empty rifle to one of the goblins, who dropped his hammer and caught the rifle as a reflex. In the same fluid motion, Gunner drew his pistol and shot him in the face, the .45 caliber hollow point causing his tiny head to explode. The next goblin sung his axe at Gunner, who barely jumped back in time to dodge it. Gunner kicked his weapon out of his hand, grabbed him, and drop-kicked him into the ceiling. The goblins head penetrated the ceiling, his flailing body still sticking out. Gunner's face lit with a frightening smile as he looked around the room. The rest of the goblins had frozen, starring at him. The cowardly creatures suddenly began screaming and yelling, running out the back door. Gunner calmly holstered his pistol, picked-up his rifle, reloaded it, and shot the last goblins still trying to get out.

"I love guns." he said.

Gunner ran out of the building, met with a hail of arrows. He ran to the next building, several arrows grazing him as he ran. He dashed in the door, butt-stroking the goblin standing just inside the door in the face with a crunch. He looked around the inside of the room. He was in a long hallway lined with empty cells.

"Hey! The prison! Alright! Now according to the rules...YES!" he said after finding a ring of keys on the guard's body.

"JEN!" he yelled.

"Hi Gunner!" her voice sounded from somewhere down the hall. Gunner ran down and found her sitting in a cell near the end of the hall. Gunner tried several of the keys before finding one that unlocked the door to her cell.

"Come on, let's go." Gunner said as he led her to the door.

Gunner ran out the door and quickly ran back in, followed by several arrows.

"That way's not good." he said.

Gunner's expression suddenly changed, as though he'd remembered something. He felt his head, noticing the lack of head gear. He covertly looked out the door, and saw his boonie hat, punctured by several arrows, laying on the ground.

"Oh HELL no! And that was my good hat too!"

"So what's the plan to get out?" Jen asked.

"I dunno." Gunner said nonchalantly.

"You don't know! You mean you tracked me down, snuck inside, fought your way here, and rescued me, and you don't have a plan to get out?"

"I haven't used a plan so far, I figured why mess with what works." he said, his eyes darting around the room.

The ground suddenly shook, and the sound of an explosion filled the air. Two flaming goblins ran by the door, chittering.

"What the fuck?"

Gunner stuck his head out the door and caught a glimpse of a familiar figure floating over the wreckage of a section of wall. Suddenly he shot a fireball at Gunner. He ducked back into the prison, the fireball missing his head by inches.

"It's me Mike! Gunner!" he yelled as another fireball streaked close by.

"I know." Mike said.

Gunner inched out of the cover of the doorway. Mike didn't shoot at him this time.

"Come on Jen!" he yelled.

The two ran across the open ground to the hole in the wall, Gunner stopping only to grab his hat. Suddenly it was quiet, a hard wind blew, blowing out the torches hanging from the buildings and placed at random intervals along the paths. The sky suddenly turned the color of bruised meat, and an evil swirl began to form.

"That-that's not good." Gunner said, starring at the sky as he pulled the arrows from his hat before placing it back on his head.

Lightning flashed, and a figure suddenly appeared before them. A tall figure, in a cloak so black it seemed to be made of shadows. A pair of evil red eyes smoldered under it's hood like coals. Several small, mage-type objects were worn or hung on his robe. It seemed to be smoking as it floated, and radiated darkness and evil across the ground towards them. Suddenly it addressed them in a deep, gravelly voice.

"Welcome gentlemen, welcome...TO YOUR DEATHS!"

The mage shot bolts of lightning at the group, which scattered in every direction. Mike shot several fireballs at it, as Gunner again switched to auto and emptied a magazine. All the projectiles stopped about a foot in front of the mage, the air around him flashing red. The fireballs splashed harmlessly against the invisible shield and the bullets just fell to the ground.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT!" Gunner yelled as he rolled behind a wall and changed his magazine as a bolt of lightning blew a basketball-sized hole in the stone wall just inches from Gunner's head.

"Ideas!" he yelled to Mike, who was trading fire on the run with the mage.

"Nope."

"Awesome. You think maybe if I shoot it enough times...!"

"No! See how it's flashing red! That's high level magic!" Mike yelled back

There's gotta be a way..." Mike muttered.

Jen, who was hiding behind a pile of rubble from the wall, had somehow managed to materialize a hammer. Again. The figure slowly floated towards them, blasting lightning from both hands, laughing maniacally.

"Gunner! I'm comin' over there!" Mike yelled as he changed the direction of his movement.

It response, Gunner stood up and fired through the large hole that had been blown in the wall by their assailant. A projectile exploded near Mike, knocking him over a few feet from the ground. Gunner dashed out and grabbed Mike's arm, pulling him the last few feet into cover as a bolt grazed Gunner's arm.

"I think I have a plan." Mike said.

"I'm not much for plans, but I'll have a listen."

"His high level shield, the one we can't penetrate?" Mike said, wincing as another piece of their cover exploded.

"Yeah?"

"It draws a lot of energy. It needs a source other than the caster."

"So...?" Gunner said, firing blindly through the hole over his head.

"The crystal around his neck. Think you can hit it?"

"Think I can-what kind of a question is that! Of course I can hit it!"

"Alright, I'll draw fire for you, then you draw fire for me, good?"

"What the hell!" Gunner said as he pulled out a small 15-round magazine, stored all by itself in a pouch designed for a single magazine. He loaded the magazine, marked with black tape around the bottom, into his weapon.

"Let's rock!"

Mike dashed into the open, drawing the figure's fire. Gunner jumped from behind his cover, took aim and fired a single shot. The round flew true, striking the green crystal and shattering to pieces.

"Score!"

The figure suddenly froze, his air of superiority gone. Gunner fired as he strafed, quickly emptying the magazine of match-grade armour-piercing silver bullets. Several of them struck the figure. He jerked as each impacted, but they seemed to have no other effect. Gunner continued running, drawing his attention as far as he could from Mike. The figure shot lightning at Gunner, missing but exploding a nearby boulder, showering Gunner with shrapnel. Mike chanted an incantation, a huge fireball forming in his hands. Gunner was knocked sideways as another explosion occurred nearby.

"Can we hurry it up!" Gunner yelled as he picked himself up and resumed running for his life.

Mike suddenly threw the largest fireball Gunner had EVER seen at the figure, completely engulfing him in magical fire. The figure writhed in agony as he burned, until nothing was left, the last of him emitting a piercing screech as it burned up, leaving only a singed and tattered robe. Gunner walked over, panting and out of breath. Gunner was covered with dust and tiny bits of rock, bleeding from a dozen minor wounds, as well as still smelling of goblin excrement.

"Looks like we got'im." Gunner said, lightly kicking the robes.

"Jen suddenly sniffed.

"What's that awful smell!"

"Me." Gunner said, raising his hand.

"What did you do! Crawl through sewage!"

"It was more like swimming, actually."

"EEEWW!"

"You alright Gunner?" Mike asked.

"Nothing serious...YOW!" Gunner said as he used his Gerber to pull a shard of rock out of his arm.

"Ohh, lemme help."

"You're not gonna hit me again are you?" Gunner asked.

"No, com'ere."

Gunner cautiously walked over. Jen said several arcane words, and began to faintly glow. She placed her hands flat against Gunner's chest and began moving them over his wounds, never stopping her chant or losing contact with his body. Pieces of shrapnel lodged in his body flew out, the minor wounds healing, his flesh reknitting itself.

"Jen, we still have a problem." Mike said.

"That we do." Gunner said, dropping his pack and opening it, pulling out David.

"What's that?" she asked.

"David." Mike and Gunner said at the same time.

"Oh well, it's not THAT big a deal."

"Whaddaya mean? Transmog spells require A LOT of work to undo!" Mike said.

"Normally yes, but David's a prince."

"So?"

"That's even worst! Now we gotta find his find his true love!" Gunner yelled.

"No we don't! That's a fairy tale thing!" Jen said.

"I thought so! True love doesn't exist!"

Jen hits Gunner with a large hammer.

"OW! What about that whole Hippocratic Oath thing!"

"Anyway, all we gotta do is find a beautiful woman to kiss him. Any woman will do."

Gunner and Mike look at Jen.

"Oh no. I'm not gonna do it."

"That's nice. You don't have a choice." Gunner said.

"Think about how bad it'll look when you come back with a transmogrified prince who you haven't aided. What would your white mage instructor say?" Mike finished.

"But-"

"Come on Jen." Gunner said.

"You gotta do it." Mike added.

Jen pouted.

"Ooohh, fine."

Jen picked up David and kissed him before setting him down. There was a flash of light and David suddenly appeared in front of them. Gunner reached into his ruck and threw him his clothes. He waited until David was fully dressed to hand him his sword, also giving Jen her pack.

"Time to go home?" Gunner said.

"Time to go home." Mike said.

"Last thing I remember, I was guarding and I was really tired, then I was naked? What happened?"

"We'll tell you on the way back." Gunner said.

And so the four began the long trek back to the pick-up area. The jamming bubble has disappeared with the defeat of the mage, and Gunner called for their pick-up.

Several Hours Later, Arroyo Road

"Hey! The truck's already here!" David yelled.

"I get first shower." Gunner said.

"But-" Jen started.

"No! You did not swim through sewage today. Therefore, I get the first shower."

"Oh shoot!" Jen yelled.

"What?" Gunner said irritated.

"I never got my wolfsbane!"

"Here." Gunner said, reaching into his pocket and throwing her a small handful of plants.

"Where'd you get these!"

"In our campsite."

"Why didn't you tell me!"

"It was YOUR assignment. I wanted to see if you'd notice."

"But you'd have said something before we left, right? So we didn't keep tromping all over the forest looking for it?"

Gunner shrugged.

"Maybe."

The four loaded into the truck, taking their same seats.

"So, anything unusual happen, kiddies?" Prof. McGee asked, already knowing the answer.

They all began talking at once.

"I got kidnapped-"

"They turned me into a frog-"

"And then Gunner shot the crystal and I used the mega-fireball-

"First I had to swim through sewage-"

"SLOW down, children, one at a time."

The professor listened to their story, though he was already familiar with the details.

"My, sounds like we'll have to talk to your type heads about this. And WHAT is that smell?"

ME!" Gunner yelled proudly from the truck bed.

"Well, you just stay back there." the Professor said.

Four Hours Later, Office of the Quadrupe

The four students stood in the round waiting room connecting the offices of type head, Gunner at parade rest. The doors opened all together, their respective heads walking out and stopping in front of them. Gunner snapped to attention, his bearing perfect.

"Students, after reviewing your report-" the Chosen One started.

"We are impressed with your abilities." Link added.

"That's why we are proud to make you the first-" said Merlin.

"Level three sophomore students this year." Yuna finished .

"Gunner and David-" the Chosen One told them.

"You will be allowed access to better weapons." Link said.

"Mike and Jen-" Merlin began.

"You will be taught additional spells." finished Yuna.

Professor McGee suddenly appeared beside them.

"You should ask your professors about it after class. Now, these type heads are very busy. Come with me, students."

Later That Night

Gunner runs down the hall, closely followed by Mike. The shooter has a goose under one arm and is laughing happily, an angry Prof. McGee chasing them, yelling for them to stop, followed by threats. Gunner pops smoke as they come to an intersection and turns down a random hallway.

"Why are we doing this again?" Mike asked between breaths.

"Shut-up and run!"


	2. What Happens When You Drink

Room 556

"Hey, me, Scud, Coaxial and Bushwacker are goin' out tonight." Gunner said as he started to leave, three other shooters visible waiting outside the door.

"Will there be drinking?" Jen asked, looking up from her copy of Teen White Mage magazine.

"No no no. Maybe. Bye!" Gunner said slamming the door and running off.

"Gunner!" Jen yelled, starting to get up.

"Meh, don't worry about it. Gunner can handle himself." Mike said.

The Next Morning, Room 556

Gunner lay sprawled out on his bed.

"Gunner wake-" Jen started.

"Let him sleep. He's not gonna go to class anyway. At least this way we know where he is." David said.

"You're right." Jen said as they left for class.

Later That Day, Cafeteria

The three eat lunch, looking for Gunner, who wasn't with his type. Mike walked over, noticing the three who went out with Gunner appeared to be at less than 100.

"Where's Gunner?"

"I dunno. Probably still sleeping off his hangover. He can DRINK! He had like, I dunno, a whole a keg himself. Then he started acting really weird."

"Weird? Gunner? NO."

"I mean like he wasn't Gunner. It was weird."

"Right, well, yeah he's probably sleeping like you said."

After Class, Room 556

Gunner sat in the common room, blankly starring at the T.V. in complete silence.

"Hey Gunner. The arcade just got the new Silent Scope game. Wanna go? My treat."

"No."

"How 'bout the snack bar? You missed lunch, you must be starving."

"No."

"Well, ok maybe later."

Mike went into his room, gesturing for the others to follow.

"I think something's wrong with Gunner."

"Why?" Jen asked.

"Uhh...he didn't want to shot stuff and he wasn't hungry. And the T.V..."

"Yeah?"

"It's on Oprah."

"Wow. I should go look at him."

Jen walked over to Gunner.

"Hi Gunner! How are you-"

She placed her hand on his shoulder and drew back, quickly turning around and walking back into Mike's room.

"I think Gunner's being mind controlled. I felt a strong presence when I made contact with him."

"Who would want to mind control Gunner? And how would that even work?" Mike asked.

"Shut-up. This is serious."

"Alright, alright, then go get a teacher who can help."

Jen left, returning several minutes later.

"Hey! I couldn't-"

She stopped, stunned by what she saw. Gunner sat, tied at the wrists and ankles, still starring at the T.V.

"Wow was that hard?"

"Pathetically easy." Mike said.

"He didn't even resist." David added.

"Couldn't find anybody? Should we try the infirmary?" David asked.

"Uhhmmm, yeah!"

Mike looked at Gunner, who suddenly began to levitate a few feet off the ground.

"Just make sure to hold the doors." he said.

Infirmary

"Oh yeah, your friend definitely is under the control of another being. We have him locked up in one of the cells for his protection." the orderly said.

"Cells? In here?"

"Yes, we usually use them for patients with lycanthropy, but they seemed necessary for your friend."

"Possession, but that's a white mage spell isn't it?"

"Yes, but I can't figure out why one would use it on one of us." the orderly said, as he hustled off to check on some of the other patients.

The Next Day After Class, Infirmary

As the three approached the infirmary, they realized something was wrong. Several staff members were milling around and muttering. Mike stuck his head in and was surprised by the destruction. A large hole had been blown in the wall, other similar holes visible through it. He was about to ask what happened, when he realized that the cage that had been holding Gunner was open.

"Uh-oh."

He made a gesture and the three walked in together.

"How did he get out?" Mike asked.

One of the investigators held up a contraption made of thin twisted metal.

"Apparently me made some lock picks from a pair of paperclips and then managed to acquire some weapons." he said.

"Lock picks from paperclips! What the hell do you guys teach them!"

"We didn't teach him that."

"Well, we gotta find Gunner." Mike said with a sigh.

"How are we gonna find him?" Jen asked.

Mike looked through the hole.

"It shouldn't be too hard. Just follow the trail of destruction. Get your supplies and meet back here in half an hour."

Thirty Minutes Later

"Why does Gunner do this?" Jen asked as they walked through the tunnel Gunner had blasted through the school.

"I dunno, maybe his parents ignored him." David suggested.

"Or maybe he just has a small-OWW!" Mike said as he was hit with a very large hammer.

"BE NICE!"

Gunner's trail continued out of the school and through the woods, a path of blasted trees in his wake. The path continued for miles, entering the deepest and darkest part of the woods. Suddenly, as if from nowhere, a small castle appeared in front of them. There was a distinct chittering sound in the air.

"Imps." David whispered.

"How do you suggest we get in?" Jen asked.

"There's always the main door." Mike said as he charged up a massive fireball.

"That might not be-" David began.

Too late. Mike had already released the ball. It smashed into the solid wooden door, shattering it instantly.

"To glory!" David shouted, leaping into battle with the imps, their picks and hammers no match for his longsword.

Mike stood in the back, throwing fireballs with both hands at anything that moved, tearing into the imp rear ranks. Jen materialized a shield to protect the three of them from the occasional arrow launched from the loops on the corner towers. The three were decimating the imps and forcing their way in, when suddenly a figure dropped from the platform above them.

"Gunner?" Jen said.

Gunner had a strange look in his eyes. He wasn't the same happy, slightly strange Gunner they all knew. He had a distant, blank look in his eyes.

"Gunner?" she said again.

Gunner suddenly opened fire with the machine gun he was holding, spraying lead everywhere as the three dove for cover in every direction.

"Gunner what's wrong with you!" David yelled.

"Gunner! It's us! Why are you shooting at us!" Jen cried.

"Come on, man! Cut it out!" David said.

Mike just shot a fireball at Gunner.

"I think we should try to bring him back mentally before resorting to violence, Mike!" Jen yelled.

"Probably." Mike said as he tossed another fireball.

Gunner continued to dodge everything he threw. But even his dodge was different. This dodge was an unnatural, fluid motion, executed at the last possible second.

"David?" Mike said, out of ideas since he was unable to hit Gunner.

"I'd never get close enough."

Gunner suddenly jumped back up to the platform and disappeared.

"That was weird." David said.

"Yeah. Well, I guess we can't leave him. Let's keep going." Mike said with a sigh.

Mike picked himself up and started into the castle, the others following for lack of a better plan. The three walked cautiously into the center courtyard. Suddenly a second gate, this one made of metal lacework, dropped down and blocked their exit.

"That's not good." David said.

A large monster suddenly ran through an opening on the other end of the courtyard. The monster was huge, nearly thirty feet tall, his torso covered in overlapping armoured plates, his mouth a mass of long, curved, razor-sharp fangs. It reached out hungrily with it's massive clawed hands. And to add to their troubles, Gunner was perched upon it's head, starring blankly at the three.

"Haha! You can't interfere anymore! No one can keep my Gunner from me!" A white mage yelled from a window high above the monster in one of the towers.

"BITCH!" Mike yelled, throwing a fireball through the window, exploding the room.

The mage must have been hit, because her grip on Gunner suddenly vanished. Gunner blinked twice, then looked around confused. Suddenly, his eyes grew wide, as if remembering something frightening. He quickly jumped off the beast and ran towards his team-mates.

"AHHH! It's Hannah! Keep that crazy psycho bitch away from me!" he yelled.

"Gunner! Come back to me!" her voice resonated from somewhere within the walls.

"I said you could have my body! Not my mind!"

"I love you Gunner!"

"Let's just be friends!" he yelled, jumping behind a pillar.

"Please stop playing hard-to-get!"

Gunner looked at the monster, which was now slightly confused by the concept of it's former master joining the enemy.

"That's not good." Gunner said, realizing the capabilities of the creature before him.

Suddenly the monster growled. Gunner responded with an incoherent yell of his own and began blasting away with his machine gun, the bullets failing to do anything but perturb the beast. David ran up, jumping on the creature's leg, prying at his armour with his sword.

"Hey Mike! How about you use that new spell you showed me a few days ago!" Gunner yelled from behind a pillar as he reloaded.

"But I haven't perfected it yet!"

"NOW!" Jen, David and Gunner yelled in unison.

"Fine, fine. HADOKEN!"

The energy streaked towards the monster, melting a dinner plate sized hole in it's armoured thigh.

"Score!" Gunner yelled.

Gunner ran in circles around the beast, shooting to distract it as Mike continued to take it apart, piece by piece. The creature swiped at Jen, catching her a glancing blow, knocking her several feet.

"Bastard!" Gunner yelled.

He stomped his huge foot, Mike barely managing to roll out of the way. The monster reached behind himself with his massive hand, knocking David through the air. David landed gracefully, rolling back up to his feet.

"We need to do something fast!" David yelled.

Hannah suddenly appeared again on the parapet.

"Be nice to Fluffy!" Hannah yelled, casting some kind of spell.

Mike's next hadoken suddenly ricocheted off the creature, flying in a random direction. The energy blast caught Gunner square in the chest, knocking him across the courtyard into a wall.

"GUNNER!" Mike yelled.

Gunner got up, his shirt melted, chest burned. He coughed and shook his head, dark blood dripping from his mouth, ears, nose and forehead. He staggered to the creature. It grabbed him, lifting him towards it's gaping maw.

"This bud's for you!" he yelled, as he threw a grenade into it's mouth.

The creature stopped, puzzled. Then it exploded. Gunner was once again hurled throw the air, landing with a thump. He lay there, not moving.

"Gunner! Are you alright!" Jen yelled as the three ran over to him.

"I'm good." Gunner said, followed by a noise, a sort of choked gurgling escaping his blood-covered lips.

Jen knelt down beside him in the ever enlarging pool of blood, examining the extent of his injuries. She looked at Mike, a frightened look on her usually happy face.

"You're gonna be alright." Mike said.

"Bu-bullshit." he managed to say between coughs.

Gunner held up his arm, and him and Mike clasped hands, Gunner managed a half-smile.

"It's been fun. Hrrgg." he said.

Gunner tensed, coughed once more, then his eyes rolled back and his body went limp.

"Gunner?" Jen said.

"Do something! You're the healer!" David yelled.

"I don't know how to heal the kind of wounds he had, much less resurrect him! They haven't taught us that yet!" Jen said, tears streaking down her face.

Suddenly Jen heard a voice in her mind. Telling her words, a chant. She began saying the words without even meaning to, the chant seeming to resonate with power as she placed her hands on Gunner's chest. Blood began to flow out from Gunner's mouth, his lungs clearing. The blood from his forehead, nose, and ears flowed backwards into the cuts, the wounds sealing up afterwards. His chest began to rise again. He coughed. Groaned. His eyes opened a little.

"Gunner?" David said.

The words sounded distant and distorted to him. Jen stopped chanting.

Hannah slipped back into the cover of night just outside the castle walls, still dizzy from the exhausting use of telepathy.

"They may have interfered this time my love, but soon, we will be together FOREVER."

"YAY! I saved Gunner!" Jen said, doing a little dance.

"Did anyone get the number of that truck?" Gunner asked from the ground, his head pounding like someone was testing ordinance inside.

"I am...THE BEST!" Jen said, striking a pose and flashing a peace sign.

"Tylenol." Gunner croaked.

"Hey Jen, where did you learn that spell?" David asked.

Jen suddenly stopped 'dancing', slightly confused.

"I-I don't know. I just suddenly did. Weird huh?."

The Next Day, Room 556

"Gunner, shouldn't you take it easy?" Jen asked through Gunner's door.

"Yeah, you were dead yesterday." Mike said with a smirk.

"I'm fine! Besides, I'm not missing our first civies day down at the Rally Point!"

"I mean, wasn't it drinking that got you into trouble in the first place?"

"Yep."

"So what you're saying is you haven't learned a thing from any of this?"

"Nope."

Several minutes later, Gunner emerged from his room, looking almost normal. He was wearing blue jeans, a pair of imitation Ray-Ban sunglasses, and a shirt with the writing 'white mages dig me' on it.

"Bye!" Gunner ran out the door and down the hall.

"Dumbass." Mike asked from the couch without putting down his copy of Mageweek.


	3. Of MidTerms and TVs

Room 556

"GET UP Gunner!" Jen yelled.

Gunner pulled the covers over his head.

"Five more minutes, mom." he muttered.

"Get up! We have mid-terms today!"

"Fine, fine." Gunner said, pulling the covers to one side and standing up.

Gunner was wearing nothing but a pair of SPAM boxers as he scratched his head and walked to his dresser.

"Have some decency, Gunner."

"Hey, you're the one who came into MY room and woke ME up." he said as he put on some BDU pants.

Gunner put on his usual Underarmour t-shirt, and walked over to his desk and pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen.

"What's that?" Jen asked.

"The answers to the test." Gunner said, as he began writing them on his arm.

"That's cheating!"

"Yes. Yes it is. If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'." Gunner said, eventually finishing and putting on a BDU top, which he left unbuttoned.

"Look who decided to join us." Mike said.

"Bite me." Gunner said as he pulled a pair of tinted glasses out of his pocket and put them on.

Mike threw a small fireball at Gunner's leg. It impacted and fizzled out.

"HA bitch! I had my clothes made of nomex!"

Mike threw another fireball.

"NOT THE FACE! OH GOD! GOD WHY! OWWW!" Gunner yelled, rolling on the floor slapping his face with his hands in an attempt to extinguish it.

Adventuring 201 Classroom

The classroom is packed, every seat filled. For once. Even all the shooters are present, all wearing long-sleeves.

"Alright, before we begin, I'd like to remind you all that this room is shielded against mental powers, so there will be no use of telepathy or mind-reading during the test. I'd also like all of the shooters to roll-up their sleeves." Professor McGee said.

The room filled with groans as the shooters rolled-up their sleeves, every arm except Gunner's covered in writing. Gunner grinned and waved at his fellow shooters as they went to the bathroom to wash off the writing. The professor walked over to Gunner.

"I KNOW you have the answers somewhere."

"I ain't got nothin'." Gunner told him.

"We'll see about that." he said, looking Gunner over.

Just as he was about to concede defeat, he suddenly had an idea. He grabbed the tinted glasses off of Gunner's face, put them on and looked at Gunner's arm.

"Just as I thought. Invisible ink. Wash it off."

"Damn it!"

Once all the students had returned, the test commenced. Gunner finished quickly, randomly marking answers on the scantron without even looking at the test, after which he promptly began to sleep.

Several Hours Later, Room 556

"So Gunner, how'd you do on the Adventuring Exam?" Jen asked.

"He gave me an 82." Gunner said as he plopped down on the couch, dropping his BDU top next to him.

"Well, it's passing." David said.

"Yeah, not bad for not actually reading the test." he said, surfing through the channels, stopping on the History Channel.

"BAKA!" Jen yelled.

Gunner just shrugged and returned to watching the special about Delta Force.

"It worked, didn't it?"

"What about your shooter exam?" Jen asked.

"Yeah, what would that even consist of?" Mike asked.

"An essay and a field-craft portion. Field-craft was fun. I HATE essays."

"What would YOU ever have to write an essay about?" Mike asked.

"The topic was how to defend against an overwhelming force laying siege to the school."

The other three looked at him expectantly.

"Use the swordsman and shooters to hold them off and have the black mages summon the school avatar. Easy."

Mike's jaw dropped.

"How do you know about the avatar! That's my field and they just told US about it like, three days ago!"

"Heh, yeah. Drinking's not the ONLY thing us shooters do at the Rally Point. We network too. Information equals victory on the battlefield. I know a lot of things that would surprise you. Anyway, I got a 105 on it."

"Hey, maybe you can use that to even out all the FAILING grades on your transcript." Mike said.

"You're a very negative person. I hope you die."

Mike shot another fireball at Gunner's face. Gunner slammed his forearms together in front of his face. The fireball hit his bare arms and dispersed, the force causing his feet to slide back a few inches.

"You're improving." Gunner said with a nod.

"Since when can you form a light shield?"

"Since this afternoon. After shooter class to be precise. What'd they teach you to do after you passed your class exam?"

I got a new sword." David said, polishing his newest weapon to a mirror-shine.

"That's not tactical at all." Gunner muttered.

"I learned to resurrect people!" Jen said.

"Didn't you already know it?" Gunner asked.

"No."

"Then how did-but-you-?"

"We don't know either." David said.

Gunner looked at Mike.

Mike smiled and shot lightning at Gunner. Gunner guessed what was happening and dodged to the side, the lightning striking the TV, which exploded.

"BASTARD! YOU KILLED SONY!" Gunner yelled, jumping to his feet.

"Grab him!" David yelled.

Jen and David each grabbed one of Gunner's arms, their combined strength barely enough to hold back Gunner's fury. Jen managed to get out her hammer.

"This is gonna hurt me a lot more than it's gonna hurt you, Gunner." she said.

"Wha-" Gunner started and was whacked upside the head with an extremely large hammer, knocking him over.

Gunner stood up, shook his head, and fell back over, unconscious.

"I think we need a new TV." David said, inspecting the smoking hole in the screen.

"Oops." Mike said.

"Yeah, oops. Now we gotta get a pass to go down to the surface to buy a new one since they don't carry high-end electronics in the school store." David said, watching Gunner who was just beginning to regain consciousness.

"But how are we gonna get a pass?" Jen asked.

Gunner shook his head again and rubbed the knot on his skull.

"Leave that to me." Gunner said.

Two Hours After Close-of-Business, Room 556

Gunner and three accomplices have set-up a pair of laptops in his room, all four of them dressed in black with night-vision gear.

"Scud, you monitor video and alert me if anyone's gettin' close. Coaxial, you're on nav. Bushwacker, you stand ready to assist."

Gunner unrolled a set of blueprints.

"Now, we can enter the ventilation system...here, at this vent. From there, I'll take this route..." Gunner said as he traced a route with his finger.

"...to the Dean's office. Then I'll grab a pass, climb back into the ventilation system, and get out of there. Any questions? Good. We execute in five."

Gunner and Bushwacker began to walk out of his room.

"I'm not even gonna ask." David said.

"Gunner! Don't do what ever it is you're planning! You're gonna get caught!"

"No I won't. We're monitoring the school's security cameras."

"And how are you going to doing that?" Mike asked.

"Dude, we've had those tapped for weeks."

"That's a violation of school-" Jen started.

"Don't care." Gunner said as him and Bushwacker walked out the door.

Nearly an Hour Later, Room 556

A dusty Gunner walks through the door.

"Got it." he said, holding up a surface pass.

"That's nice." David said, doing the same.

"Man, how'd you get that!"

"I asked."

"My way was still cooler." Gunner muttered.

Gunner walked to the bathroom and opened the door. There was a loud scream from inside and was promptly hit in the face with a hammer.

"You guys didn't fix the lock yet, did you?"

"Nope." Mike said with a smirk.

Gunner thought for a second and then opened the door again, starring inside for a second. Gunner barely dodged her next strike and took off running out of the dorm, giggling.

The Next Morning, Room 556

Everyone is wearing jeans and t-shirts, waiting on Gunner, who finally emerges from his room, wearing camo.

"Why don't you wear your normal clothes, Gunner?" Jen asked.

Gunner looked slightly confused.

"These are my normal clothes."

"Civies, Gunner." David said.

"Why?"

"Because we're going to the surface, to buy a new T.V., remember?"

"Oh yeah."

Gunner went into his room and came out several minutes later in a pair of blue jeans and a shirt, depicting an infantry team stacked for entry by a door with the label 'we're here for the party'. His outfit was finished off by a baseball cap bearing a large Heckler & Koch logo.

"Let's go." he said.

"No guns, Gunner." Jen said.

"But-"

"Or knives."

"I-"

"Leave them here."

"I don't wanna." Gunner said, pouting.

"Do it."

Gunner sulked back into his room and came back out several minutes later.

"I feel so...naked."

Several Hours Later, Best Buy

"I don't think we REALLY need picture in picture." David told the salesman.

"I think we-hey, where's Gunner?" Jen said.

Mike shrugged.

"What do you mean! You were supposed to watch him!" Jen yelled.

"Yeah, I was hoping he'd walk into traffic or something." Mike said.

"I think he's in the computer games aisle." David said.

The three ran over to the computer section.

"Gunner, what are you doing?" Jen asked.

"They got the new Area 51 game! And Delta Force III! And Fallout 3! And Unreal-"

"Gunner, you can't buy all those. You don't even have any money."

"Heh heh yeah I do. I pawned like, a dozen of those golden eggs I got last time I stole McGee's goose. I am ROLLING in cash."

"Gunner, no!"

"But I wanna."

"Gunner, we came here to get a T.V., not so you could buy war games."

"Fallout's not a war-game."

"You know what I mean Gunner. Come on, let's go back to T.V.s."

"You're mean."

"Come on Gunner, I'll buy you an ice cream cone later."

"Double-scoop?"

"Yes, Gunner."

"Yay."

"Now come on Gunner, let's go back to looking at T.V.s, ok?"

"Ok."

The four walked back over to the T.V. section. Gunner suddenly pointed to a T.V.

"We should get that one." he said, matter-of-factly.

"Why?" David asked.

"Because it's the same model as the one SOMEBODY broke."

"Really? I thought they just looked similar." Jen said.

"Gunner would know, he spends more time in front of that thing than any of the rest of us." Mike said.

"It's where I draw my power." Gunner said with a shrug.

"So can we go?"

"well it certainly LOOKS like the old one." David put in.

"That's because IT IS. Now, let's just buy the damn thing and leave."

The four walked to the cashier, and discovered a problem.

"Uhhh...they don't accept gold pieces." Jen whispered after returning.

"If you'd let me bring my-" Gunner started.

"No Gunner!" David and Jen yelled at once.

"Fine, I'll charge it." David muttered, pulling out a credit card.

Gunner turned to Mike.

"Where did he pull that from? His tights don't have pockets." he whispered.

Mike starred at David for a second.

"You're right."

David sighed.

"Come on guys, let's go home. I'm tired of the normal world and Gunner's been getting even weirder since we made him leave his guns behind. We should probably get back home before his brain is permanently damaged." David said.

"Uhh, retardation IS permanent." Mike said.

"Don't make me mess you up in front of the cashier." Gunner said.

"BEHAVE!" Jen yelled.

"Let's just take the T.V. and go." she said more quietly.

The four were lost in thought as they left.

'I hope this one lasts longer than the other one.' Jen thought.

'I hope I didn't spend TOO much money.' David thought.

'I wonder if they're still mad at me for blowing the first one up. Nah.' Mike thought.

'Should I get mint chocolate chip, or strawberry?"

Two Hours Later, Room 556

"You lied to me." Gunner said to Jen.

"But-"

"I want my ice cream cone."

"Come on, Gunner."

"And because you lied to me, I told everybody movie night was over here."

"Uhhh, who is everybody?" David asked.

"Scud, Coaxial, Bushwhacker, Athena, Spartan, maybe a few others. You can't say no either. It's my room too. Besides, you have all YOUR friends over. I must restore the estrogen/testosterone balance, so I win."

"What are you guys even going to DO?"

"Oh, you know, watch movies, play some video games, just chill."

"Fine. Just don't do anything stupid."

"Me? Never!"

The Next Morning, Room 556

The room's furniture had been pushed to random spots around, popcorn and empty styrofoam cups littered the floor next to copies of 'Blackhawk Down' and 'Saving Private Ryan', among others. X-Box controllers were scattered everywhere, and more than one pencil was stuck in the ceiling tiles, as well as a few of what looked suspiciously like bullet-holes. Gunner was passed out on the couch, an empty bottle of 'Jack in his hand.

Jen was the first to wake-up in the morning.

"Gunner! What the hell happened in here! Did a BOMB go off!" Jen yelled.

"Look, that wasn't my fault! And please don't yell, I got a wicked hangover."


	4. The Goblin King Incident

"Gunner! Gunner! Wake up!" Mike yelled.

"Mmmm. Boobies-wha?" Gunner said suddenly waking up.

The four members of the party hung upside down, bound in chains.

"How'd we get here?" Gunner asked.

"We fell down the trapdoor, were knocked out by the fall, and then they tied us up." Mike said.

Gunner swung slightly from his chain as he began trying to escape.

"So why did we come on this exercise again?" Mike asked, his arms tied behind his back.

"Umm, because I thought it would be fun." Gunner said, trying, not completely unsuccessfully to wiggle out of the chains that wrapped him from toe to neck.

"And are we having fun Gunner?"

"Yep." he said with a smile, continuing to wiggle.

"Just one hadoken, that's all it would take." Mike muttered to himself.

"I have a headache." Jen said.

"How long have we been here?" she asked.

"Uhh, I can't see my watch, but I'd guess we've been upside down for about two hours. I think I'm almost out." Gunner said, still squirming.

"I hope you have a plan to get us out of here." Mike said, irate.

"I don't like plans. They cramp my style."

Suddenly there was an explosion and the wall in front of them collapsed. Another party of adventurers walked into the dungeon.

"GO AWAY!" Gunner yelled at them.

"What?" the other swordsman asked.

"WHAT!" Mike yelled.

"We don't need any help! We're fine, we're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?" Gunner said.

"Heh, yeah, we're not here to rescue you." the black mage said.

"We're here to kill the goblin king." the swordsman said.

"Nu-uh! We were here first!" Gunner yelled.

"Yeah, well, you're not in a position to do a lot." the black mage said.

"Bite me! I don't care!" Gunner yelled back.

"We were assigned this mission first." David told them.

"Look fucker-" the other black mage began.

Suddenly a figure emerged through the hole. He was slightly shorter than Gunner, dressed in fatigues, wearing a small rucksack, his face painted beneath his boonie hat. The shooter's LBV was filled with gear, and he held his rifle at the low ready. Gunner starred at him for a second.

"Boomer?"

"Gunner?"

Gunner gives one last wiggle and falls out of his chains, landing headfirst on the floor several feet below. He quickly scampered to his feet. The two ran over to each other and began exchanging a complicated handshake.

"Hey man, what is up, dude! I haven't seen you in fuckin' forever!" Boomer said.

"Hey guys! This is my buddy Boomer, we went to high school together!"

"So what the fuck's all this yellin' about?" Boomer asked.

Mike starred in shock at the sight of TWO shooters dressed almost exactly the same.

"Oh my God! They're multiplying!"

"Heh-heh, yeah, if they could figure out where to stick it." the other black mage said.

"Shut the fuck up." the shooters yelled simultaneously at their respective black mage.

"Split it?" Gunner asked.

"Sure, sounds like fun." Boomer said.

"Will someone get me down from here!" Mike yelled.

The other swordsman whipped a trio throwing knifes from under his cloak and threw them all with one fluid motion, each dagger cutting down one of the three suspended adventurers. Gunner pointed at him.

"That was cool."

"Show-off." David muttered.

"Here." Boomer said, handing Gunner his pistol.

"Thanks. Hey, you got anything for my David?"

Boomer though for a minute.

"I got a machete."

Gunner looked at David, who shrugged.

"Sure." David said.

Boomer reached back and pulled the machete from it's sheath attached to his assault pack and tossed it to David.

"Let's go." Gunner said, holding Boomer's pistol at the low ready.

"Gunner, I'm sure the door is lock-" Mike started as Gunner opened the door.

"Guess they didn't think we'd get out." David said, testing the weight and balance of his new weapon.

"First things first. We need to find our gear." Gunner said, looking down the hall.

"Uh, which way?" Jen asked.

The two shooters conversed in hushed tones for several minutes.

"That way." Gunner said, pointing to the left.

"Why do you say that?" Jen asked.

"Because Boomer won at rock-paper-scissors." Gunner said, slightly dejected.

"Let's go!" Boomer yelled and dashed out the door, Gunner close behind.

Mike looked at the other black mage.

"We should probably follow them." he said.

"Yeah. I guess." his counterpart said.

The other six began following the shooters. The hallway suddenly filled with gunfire and a sound that could only be described as an evil giggle.

"I think they found the goblins." Jen said.

By the time the others had arrived, the two shooters were standing by several dozen goblin corpses.

"My kill counts higher." Boomer said.

"Yeah, but I got four head shots. That's means I have more points. That means I win."

"Damn it."

"Where's our stuff?" David asked.

"That way." Gunner and Boomer said at the same time.

"Why?" Jen asked.

"Because of the big sign that says 'storage' and points that way." Gunner said.

The two shooters ran around the corner. A swish filled the air as an arrow streaked by, pinning Gunner's hat to the wall. The others came around the corner just in time to see Boomer knock the goblin on his back with a sweep kick.

"This is for my hat!" Gunner yelled as he administered a flying elbow.

The goblin made a screeching noise, kind of like air rushing out of a balloon as he had the breath knocked out of him. Gunner grabbed the knife from it's sheath on Boomer's belt and put it to the goblin's throat.

"Hey!" Boomer yelled.

"Did you touch my rifle!"

The goblin chittered, and Gunner looked to Boomer.

"He said all your shit's in the storage room, and nobody's messed with it under penalty of castration by the king."

"How did-" Jen started.

"Boomer speaks goblinese." Gunner said.

"Hmm. Only castration? I guess good minions are hard to find." Jen said.

"ONLY CASTRATION!" all six of the males yelled at once.

"What do you mean, 'only castration! That's WORSE than death!" Gunner yelled.

"I don't think you should talk anymore." Mike said.

"Come on, let's go Boomer, I wanna get Arlene."

"Alright." Boomer said, punching the goblin in the face.

The two walked to the door and attempted to open it.

"It appears to be locked." Gunner said.

"Oh, yeah, that's right! We didn't check that last goblin for a key, did we?" Boomer said.

"No, I don't think-you're gonna make me go get it aren't you?"

"Hey, it's your crap in there, not mine."

Gunner muttered several things not fit to be written under his breath. He returned several minutes later and unlocked the door.

"Here's your pistol." Gunner said, grabbing his rifle.

"Hey Arlene, did you miss me?" he said, cradling his rifle.

"And my grenades, my kukri, and Robin!" he said, grabbing his pistol.

"Oh yeah, hey everybody else! Your stuff's here too!" Gunner yelled out the door.

Several minutes later, everyone had recovered their gear, Boomer looking over Gunner's equipment.

"Dude, where'd you get a LAW?"

"E-Bay. So how do you wanna do this? You wanna just go straight up, or do you wanna clear every floor?"

"Let's go for the gold. We can nail the minions on the way back down."

"Let's go."

The two shooters ran up the stairs at the end of the corridor, closely followed by the swordsman, then the black mages, with the white mages bringing up the rear. Several flights of stairs later, they arrived at a large set of ornate doors. Boomer and Gunner kicked open the doors and ran in, quickly running out, followed by two VERY large orcs.

"Bullets don't stop them! Run!" Gunner yelled.

"Yargg!" David yelled, jumping in front of one of them, brandishing his sword.

"Yeah! Get'im David!" Gunner yelled as the two swordsmen each began fighting with an orc.

The shooters and black mages ran back in, the mages hurling fire at the small crowd of a dozen or so goblins in the room. The two shooters ran straight through the crowd, right to the goblin king.

The goblin king was an extraordinarily large goblin, blue in color and wearing a very nice crown, probably stolen from somewhere. He wore a glowing breastplate and appeared very unhappy at having his throne room violated. He grabbed his very large sword and lunged at the nearest shooter. Gunner began running in random directions, trying to avoid becoming sushi. The two shooters took turns firing and running away, having little effect on the king.

"Boomer! Cover me!"

"Alright!" Boomer yelled.

Boomer picked up a chunk of masonry that had been shot off the wall and threw in at the king, hitting him in the head and appearing to do more damage than the gunfire. Gunner pulled the LAW off his back and shot the goblin king, blowing a hole in his chest plate.

"Yeah!" Gunner yelled at the king, then dove behind a pillar to dodge the king's swing.

The king grunted as he tried unsuccessfully to pull his crudely-forged weapon from the stone pillar.

"HAHA!" Gunner laughed.

The king snarled at him, released his grip on his sword and punched him across the room.

"Holy shit!" Gunner yelled, bouncing off a wall.

The goblin king ran to Gunner and picked him up by throat, growling at him.

"Suck it blue!" he yelled as he stuffed a hand grenade down the hole in the king's armour.

"Yeah suck it blue!" Boomer yelled.

The grenade exploded, throwing the king back several feet and releasing his grip on Gunner. The king lay on his back, not moving. Gunner shook his head and picked himself up, still splattered with goblin bits. He ran across the room, and grabbed the crown from the head of the now dead ruler. Gunner placed it on his head and sat on the throne.

"I am now your king!" he yelled.

"Shut-up!" Mike responded.

"Uh, there's a LOT of goblins coming down the hall!" Jen yelled.

"Is everybody in the throne room?" Gunner asked.

He quickly counted everyone.

"Boomer! Close the doors!" he said running over to help.

The two closed the doors, and braced themselves against them to keep them that way. The doors began to buckle as the goblins on the other side threw themselves against it. The doors suddenly flew open. Gunner, Boomer and the swordsman stood in front of the opening, ready to try to hold the hundreds of goblins waiting for them. The goblins ran at them, then suddenly stopped. A larger goblin, probably some kind of pack leader, shoved his way to the front.

"Hail the new king!" he yelled in very poor english to the assembled crowd. The goblins began to bow to their new leader.

"Heh. This is cool. Finally, I'm recognized as the leader I REALLY am." Gunner said.

"How come HE gets to be king!" Mike yelled.

"Boomer, you can be vice-king."

"Sweet!"

"Come on Gunner, we're leaving. NOW." Jen said grabbing him by the arm.

"Hold on!" he said, tearing loose of her grip.

"Hey goblin dude, where's the old king's personal treasure chest?"

The goblin turned around and chittered for a few seconds. A pair of goblins ran out of the crowd and into a backroom, returning with a large chest.

Gunner stood, chatting with the large goblin as David slashed open the lock.

"Aw man, it's just full of dirty old magazines." David said, disappointed.

"Wait wait wait wait wait. Dirty, old, magazines, or old dirty magazines?"

"Gunner-" Mike started as the shooter ran to the chest.

"Alright! Jackpot! Betty Page!" Gunner yelled.

"What!" Boomer yelled, running over.


	5. Mental Problems, Part 1

Room 556, 2204 hrs.

Gunner walked into the room after an extended absence.

"Gunner you're bleeding!" Jen said, pointing at his knee.

"Wha-holy shit!" Gunner said, looking down.

"Look at this! That midget bite me! I think I might be diseased! Jen! Come look at this!"

"What happened?" Jen asked.

"You don't wanna know!" Mike yelled.

"Well, we-"

"We?" Jen said.

"Me, Boomer, Scud and Athena. Now then. We were chasing this guy. You know, he was dressed in green, had a funny accent, red hair, we figured he was a leprechaun. He kept yellin' about his lucky something, we couldn't hear him real well. Then we caught him, and all we got was a bowl of cereal. So Boomer got all pissed off, and just started hittin' him in the face, and then this dude goes all crazy and starts whalin' on Boomer, and next thing I know, this dude's bitin' on my kneecaps. It was crazy."

"Why do these things only happen when you're around?" David asked.

"This one was Boomer's fault."

"Lemme see Gunner." Jen said with a sigh.

Room 556, The Next Morning

"Gunner! Time to go to class!" Jen yelled.

"I don't feel so good." Gunner said, vomiting into the toilet.

"Were you drinking last night?"

"No mommy, I-BLEEGGHH!"

Thunk.

Thud.

"The hell was that?" Mike asked, pausing from trying to materialize an ice bolt.

"I don't know. Go look." Jen said.

"But I-"

"Gunner's a male. In the bathroom. I'm not going in there."

"Fine." Mike got up and went in, returning a few seconds later.

"He's unconscious. And wearing pants. You can go in."

"Unconscious!" she said, running in.

"He doesn't look so good!" Jen yelled, referring to Gunner's pale and clammy skin as she took a pulse.

Jen ran to the intercom.

"Is he gonna die?" Mike said hopefully.

"Emergency! Code Violet, room 556!"

By the time Jen had dragged him from the bathroom, a response team of three white mages had arrived.

"Symptoms?" the head one asked.

"Cool, clammy skin. Low pulse and slow breathing. Unconsciousness, preceded by vomiting."

"Cause?"

"Uh...I think something bit him yesterday."

The leader turned to one of the others.

"Scry him."

She said some words, and put her hand, fingers spread on his forehead, then quickly drew back.

"It's in his brain, some kind of virus."

"What do we do?" Jen asked.

"You three need to get in there and take them out.

The third white mage started to chant.

"Hold on just one friggin-" Mike started.

Suddenly the three of them were in what appeared to a path in a forest.

"Where are we?" David asked.

"Ummm..." Jen said, looking around.

Suddenly three people came around a bend in the path. They looked kind of like Jen, Mike, and Gunner, but they definitely weren't.

Gunner was tall, handsome, and very buff, carrying an M-60 with a grenade launcher. He was almost six-foot four, and about 275 pounds of pure muscle.

Jen was scantily-clad, her white robes nearly skin tight and torn in several places, leaving little to the imagination. The fake one's breasts were larger than the original and she was hanging on Gunner's arm.

The fake Mike didn't appear any different, although he did smell.

"I don't look like that!" Jen yelled.

"You're tellin' me. OWW!"

Jen put away her hammer.

"Hey, where's David?" the real Jen asked.

"Who?" Gunner said.

"David. You know, the sword guy. Him." Mike said, pointing at David.

"Never seen him before in my life."

"So who are you?" David asked.

"We're you. And I'm me." Gunner said matter-of-fact.

"Good enough for me." Mike said with a shrug.

"So you're here to help us, right?" Jen asked.

"Sort of. We're here to guide you around."

"You can't help us?" David said.

"I'm just his psyche. I'm not allowed to effect changes. It would be a violation of the Uniform Mental Representatives Code of 1978."

"Are-are they nice?" a small, gravelly voice said from Gunner's backpack.

"They're not those midgets, are they?"

"No they're not, you can come out now." Gunner said.

A small, sickly loping creature, vaguely resembling Gollum climbed cautiously down Gunner's back and huddled behind his leg.

"What is that?" Jen asked.

"That's Gunner's conscience."

"Riiiight." Mike said.

"Well, come on. Let's go." Gunner said and led them down the path and into the city.

The group began walking down the street, passing a pile of trash cans.

"Meow."

"What was that?" Jen asked.

"This!" the fake Mike said, pulling out a box of kittens, which he lit of fire before laughing maniacally.

The Jens screamed.

The real Mike pointed and laughed.

David tried to ignore the smell.

Gunner just shook his head.

"So what are we doin' here, anyway?" Mike asked.

"You're gonna clear out the virus so Gunner's mission capable again."

"So...we're in his mind?" Jen asked.

"There's a lot more in here that I thought." Mike said, looking around.

"So where first?" David asked.

"Well, I haven't really been briefed, so let's head over to the First National Memory Bank first and check some stuff out."

Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion (because I don't feel like writing anymore right now).


	6. Mental Problems, Part 2

Somewhere in Gunner's Mind, Unknown Time

The expanded party sat in the viewing room of the First National Memory Bank, as Gunner's psyche popped in a DVD.

"Alright, time for the show to begin."

The TV came to life, beginning with Gunner, Boomer, Scud and Athena discussing the merits of a robotic Chuck Norris as they wandered in random directions, vaguely following Gunner.

"He'd need a time-skip function." Boomer said.

"Of course." Scud replied.

Gunner suddenly stopped.

"What?" Boomer asked irritated.

"Dude, it's a leprechaun!" he whispered.

"What! Get'im!" Boomer yelled, tearing off after the tiny man.

"Well, so much for stealth." Gunner said, hot on his heels.

"You'll never get my Lucky Charms!" the midget yelled, running as fast as he could.

"GRAAA!" Boomer yelled, tackling the leprechaun at the knees.

"GIMME MY REWARD ASS-WIPE!" Boomer yelled.

"Fine! Fine! You can have my Lucky Charms!"

"WHAT THE FUCK! I WANT MY GOLD!" Boomer yelled, pummeling the man.

Suddenly the man grabbed Boomer's wrist.

"What the fu-!" Boomer started as the leprechaun flipped him onto his back and grabbed him in a full nelson.

"I'm comin' Boomer!" yelled Gunner, running to his buddy's aid.

Gunner grabbed the leprechaun in a choke-hold, and managed to pull him off Boomer, but the leprechaun twisted his way free of Gunner's grip.

"This is worse than that time we wrestled with that giant shaved ferret!" Boomer yelled.

"OWWW!" Gunner yelled as the leprechaun bit his knee.

"You bastard!" Gunner yelled, kicking him in the nuts.

"How much longer does this go on?" the real Jen asked.

" About another four or five minutes." Gunner said smugly.

"I've seen enough. I know what to do." Jen said.

"You mean a post-birth abortion?" the real Mike said, making the fake one laugh.

Jen starred daggers at them.

We need to get to Gunner's hypothalamus." she said matter-of-fact.

Gunner shrugged.

" Sounds good to me." Gunner said.

Gunner opened his rucksack.

"Hey conscience, I'm gonna leave you here. You be good alright?"

The creature nodded and hopped out.

"Heh. Maybe it can go and hide out along with Gunner's common sense." Mike said, both of them laughing.

"That dude ran off ALONG time ago." Gunner said.

"Mister guide, what's the fastest way to Gunner's hypothalamus?" the real Jen asked.

"That's easy. We can catch his next train of thought at the station just down the street, past the cerebellum, and switch over at the medulla oblongata." said the fake Jen.

"That's uh...that's a lotta big words." Gunner said.

"What do you mean! You live here!" the real Jen yelled.

"Yeah, but I don't really actually have to be anywhere. I usually just kinda wonder around. Aimlessly. It's fun. I also like to scare the guys in central control. If you startle them, sometimes their papers go everywhere. It's great."

The Jens looked at each other.

"Wow...that...actually explains a lot." the real one said.

"So what do you do when you get to the hypothalamus?" Gunner asked.

"Well, then we need to find and kill the leprechaunitis infection."

"So then Gunner can get back to doing fun stuff like shooting and burning and blowing stuff up?" Gunner said.

"Yeah, I guess." the real Jen said, the fake one standing behind her and nodding.

"Alright! Then let's go already!" Gunner yelled, dashing out the door.

The others followed him, and found him stopped, waiting for the pedestrian light to change so he could cross the street. Several seconds passed, as the traffic sped by, mainly cars and SUVs. The last thing to pass was a roaring, cybernetic t-rex, several seconds before the light changed.

"Was that a..." the real Mike started.

"Yeah. Yeah it was." the real David replied.

"Hmmm. He's early." Gunner said, looking at his watch.

"Come on, let's go." Gunner said, running across the road.

The group followed Gunner down a dizzying series of back alleys and dark streets.

"Is this some kind of shortcut?" the fake Jen asked.

Gunner shrugged.

"Maybe." he said.

"The train station is over here!" David yelled.

"See, it was a shortcut. I am SO cool." Gunner said.

"They want our tickets. We don't have any tickets." David said.

"I got this."

Gunner walked up to the ticket booth and flashed a small gold badge.

"I'm with Sentience Control, this is a welfare matter. I need immediate passage. They're with me."

Gunner turned around and flashed a thumbs-up.

"Let's go! They're only boarding for three more minutes!" he yelled.

The real Mike stared at the train for a second.

"Wow, I guess Gunner really does have a one-track mind."

Somewhere Near Gunner's Hypothalamus, Unknown Time

The six stood in front of what must once have been a busy factory, now overgrown with pink, organic, fleshy tentacles.

"I think that's it." the real Jen said.

"What was your first clue?" Mike said.

"That's definitely the hippothal...hypotherm...the place you're lookin' for." Gunner remarked.

"Well, let's go." David said, unsheathing his swords.

"Yeah, we gotta wait out here. Have fun." Gunner replied.

And so the three continued alone. David cut through the tentacles clogging the doorway, and the three journeyed into the blackness. Mike snapped his fingers, a small growing ball appearing in his hand, it's luminescence waging a futile battle against the dark.

"So Jen, what do we do now?" Mike asked after nearly a minute, breaking the deafening silence.

"We need to find the lead infection cell and kill it. Easy."

The room was suddenly illuminated with what seemed like every light in the building. Hanging from the ceiling, resting in alcoves in the walls, and sitting on the floor, all around the room lay nearly a hundred amoeba-like creatures about the size of a human torso. In the middle was a huge version of the creatures, nearly the size of a humvee.

"So you have come to cleanse me, eh? Minions! Attack!" it shouted in a voice like grating rocks.

The creatures swarmed the trio.

"Ah! Aim for the nucleus! Otherwise you'll just split it into two!" Jen yelled.

"Gotcha!" David yelled, spearing the 'brain' of the creature with his long sword as he slashed the nucleus of another in half with a rapier.

Mike grunted as he continued shooting fireballs at them, vaporizing two or three with every spell.

"Screw it! I'm goin' for the big one! HAAAAA-DOKEN!" he yelled.

The black ball of energy sped through the air, burning through the mass of the creature and cooking it's brain.

"Great, the big one's down, now what about all the other!" David yelled, quartering the nucleus of the creature jumping at him.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I wish Gunner was here!" Mike yelled.

Suddenly a burst of machine gun fire cut through the air, blasting down a dozen of the creatures.

"Hi guys!" Gunner yelled, waving at them before returning to firing at the blobs.

Within moments, it was silent again.

"Gunner, I thought you said you couldn't help us!" Jen yelled.

"I said I wasn't allowed. And I'm not. I'll probably catch shit for this too. But it was fun." he said with a smile.

"So...uh...he's cured, right? I mean-" David started.

"Can we go home now?" Mike interrupted.

"Well, if the other white mages are monitoring his condition, we should get out of here-"

The three were suddenly in the infirmary, sitting in chairs around Gunner's bed.

"Wow. I have a MASSIVE headache." Mike said, holding his head.

Gunner stirred, groaned, and then woke-up, sitting upright in his bed.

"Man, I just had the WEIRDEST dream. And you were there, and you, and you..."


	7. Class Elections

Room 556

"Time to wake up, Gunner!" Jen said loudly as she skipped into his room.

"No it's not..." he replied before burying his head in his pillow.

"Come on, we vote for the presidents of our classes today. Everyone needs to vote, it's an important part of the democratic process!"

"Fine! I'll get up if you'll stop talking." he said, getting out of bed, again dressed in just boxers.

"Gunner-" Jen started.

"My room. I do what I want. Period." he said, finishing with a large burp.

"You're so charming Gunner." she said sarcastically.

"I know." he said with a grin as he pulled on a pair of BDU pants.

Lunchtime, Cafeteria

The usual gang of shooters sat around their table, eating, bragging, and joking with each other. In their midst, Gunner and Boomer were having a very animated discussion.

"Dude, you can't date her, she's like thirteen." Gunner said.

"Fourteen, but she spent a thousand years in stasis."

"Dude-"

"So she's actually 1014 years old. I'm robbin' the grave, not the cradle." he said with a smirk.

"Dude, that doesn't count. The law clearly states that time spent in stasis, cryogenic storage, under the influence of sleep spells and portions, and the alike doesn't count. Same with brain transplants. Both the body AND mind must be matured past the age of statutory."

"Way to cock-block me man."

"Dude, it's not ME cock-blocking you, it's the law cock-blocking you. It's not my fault."

"Gunner, shouldn't you guys be getting to the auditorium for the speeches? How will you know which candidate to vote for?" Jen said.

"That's easy. I'm voting for me." Gunner replied.

"Gunner, you can't run for class president!"

"Why? What happened to all that democratic process stuff you were spewing earlier? Or does that just not apply to me?"

"Well, uh-"

"See, there you have an example of my mad debate skillz. Besides, I have the highest score in my class."

"You mean the highest overall average, or the highest grade in your shooter classes?"

"In the classes that matter; my shooter classes, obviously. Duh."

"So you have a running mate?"

"Indeed. I believe you have met my associate Boomer?"

Boomer looked up from a group game of knives and waved.

"I chose him 'cuz he's least like to try to assassinate me to usurp my throne."

Jen shook her head and walked away.

1702 hrs., Cid Auditorium

The shooter's elections had no end in sight, for obvious reasons. The other classes had taken no more than fifteen minutes each to vote. The shooters had been voting for almost two hours.

"For the last time, no write-ins are allowed. This includes Ben Dover, Hugh Jass, John Wayne, Ralph Nader, and John Rambo. We can stay here ALL night, I hate my dog and my wife is on the rag, so I really don't have anything better to do. It's up to you guys when we can leave." Mr. Corvus stated into the microphone.

This was meet with the usual chorus of boos and sarcastic remarks.

"Yeah, I hate you guys too. Let's just shut-up and get this over with, alright?"

1854 hrs., Cid Auditorium

In the fastest election in shooter history, the ballots were finished in just four hours. Unfortunately, the election had resulted in a tie.

"Since there is a tie, the two of you will settle this with a duel-" Mr. Corvus said.

"YES!" Gunner yelled, pumping his fist.

"-of words." he finished.

"NO!"

"The standard Kyoto Convention rules for dozens will apply. Gunner, since you appear to be the crowd favorite, you may go first."

"The first time I saw you, you were a bogie on my gaydar." Gunner started.

"Forget the pork chop, your parents had to hang a cat around your neck so the dog would play with ya."

"Too bad your mom never read 'A Modest Proposal'!"

"You're momma's so fat, her cellulite, is cellu-heavy."

"Commie!"

"Emo!"

"French!" Gunner said.

He hadn't wanted to use his trump card so early, but his hand had been forced.

"Ooooo!" the crowd yelled.

His opponent sputtered, his mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"Three, two, one, and the winner..."

The teacher held up Gunner's hand.

"Is Gunner, for class president!"

The audience roared.

"I AM THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE!" Gunner yelled.

The crowd surged the stage and carried him off.

1918 hrs., Room 556

The sounds of a parade-like event filter into the room from the hallway.

"What the hell is all that noise outside?" Mike yelled, mainly to himself.

He opened the door, and was bombarded by the shooter's celebration. Loud rock music, yelling and shouting, and Gunner wearing a Burger King crown (the old crown was traded by the last president for a box of thermite grenades) being carried down the hall.

"Hey Mike!" he yelled.

"What the hell!"

"I won!" Gunner yelled before he was carried around a corner.

Mike turned pale.

"I must be going insane." he said, in a state of disbelief as he returned to the couch.

"What was that?" Jen asked.

"I'm not completely sure." he replied.

The Next Morning, School Park

The park was trashed, covered with litter, wrappers, discarded alcohol containers, and several spent shell casings and power packs. The statue of Mr. McCloud had been TPed, and someone's black robe had been ran up the flag pole, not to mention the words 'Shooters rule!' burned into the lawn. And in the midst of all this, unconscious shooters were randomly strewn around. On the ground, on the benches, in the trees, a couple in the fountain, everywhere. Jen carefully picked her way through the remains of the celebration, searching for Gunner. She finally spotted him, and was about a dozen paces from him when suddenly two shooters from the freshman class jumped in between her and Gunner, weapons up.

"State the nature of your business with the president." one of them said.

"Gunner needs to go to class!" she yelled.

"Our president needs to do no such thing." the other guard said.

"Gunner!" she yelled.

Gunner stirred, yawned and rolled over.

"Look sir, droids." he muttered, still asleep.

Jen's hammer suddenly appeared.

"You have three seconds to move. 3..." she said.

"Raider 6, this is Raider 3! We need backup!" the second one yelled into his radio.

"2..." Jen counted.

"You got the bean-bag rounds, right?" the first one said to the second.

"No! I though you had them!"

"Fuck! We are SO boned!"

"1..."

The two of them moved aside.

"Go ahead and wake'im up." the first one said with a sigh.

"That's what I thought. WAKE-UP GUNNER!"

"Huh! Wha! I didn't do it!" he yelled sitting straight up.

"Go to class!" she yelled.

"I don't wanna!"

"Gunner...!" she yelled, waving the hammer threateningly.

"Fine! Ruin my big day! Sheesh. Women."


	8. The New Kid

Room 556 

Jen ran into Gunner's room.  
"Gunner! Time to"  
She looked around, confused. The room was empty.  
"Mike! Where's Gunner"  
"You know I don't hang out with that spazoid"  
"Well he's not in his room"  
"He's not? But it's like, nine o'clock. He's NEVER up at this time"  
"That's my point." Jen said.  
Mike narrowed his eyes.  
"What's he up to?"

Outside the Chosen One's Office "So Gunner, this is Matthew, he's enrolled in our shooter pre-training program." the Chosen One said, gesturing to an eighth-grader dressed in combat boots, urban camo BDU pants, brown undershirt and an olive-drab bandana tied around his head.  
"Since you're the class president, we're going to assign him to you. This isn't going to be a problem, is it?" he asked, his hand resting lightly on the hilt of his super-cattle prod.  
"No sir." Gunner said quickly.  
"I get full access to the stores, right? I mean, we gotta get'im outfitted, right sir"  
"Yeah, go ahead and raid the supplies, I don't care"  
"Sweet!" Gunner said, before grabbing Matthew by the hand and running straight to the central issue office.  
He argued with the guard for several minutes before finally being allowed access after he threatened to choke the guard to death with his own intestines.  
"Hold this open and follow me." Gunner said, handing him a rucksack.  
"By the way, you need a nickname. I refuse to call you Matthew. You are now Noob"  
Noob glared at him.  
"Yeah, that might work if I cared what you thought. Now then, lemme see, basics first. MREs, camelback, chemlights, flares, a lighter, first aid kit, and rope. Definately rope. Alright, and here's your standard LBV and pistol-belt kit, I'll help ya with that later." he said, throwing a large, plastic wrapped bag of gear into the ruck.  
"Now then, weapons." Gunner said, both of them now smiling.  
Gunner led his through a very secure looking door and into the armoury.  
"You good with knives"  
Noob shrugged.  
"Alright, let's give you a monofilament garotte, it doesn't require a lot of skill. And take a tazer too. I like to use'em to start fires." he said, taking one off of the shelf and dropping it in the rucksack.  
"Let's give ya a micro-pulsed laser pistol, it's awesome at close range and it doesn't kick, so it's good for beginners." he said, also dropping it, along with a few power cells, into the ruck.  
"Grenades." he said simply, grabbing bunches of them and handing them to Noob.  
"And last, primary weapon. So whaddaya want? A rifle, shotgun, what"  
"I want one of those cool machine guns"  
"Yeah, don't we all. Too bad neither of us has the requisition points for it. How 'bout an M-4? It easy to use, easy to maintain, and completely customizable. You'll love it." he said, slinging the rifle over his shoulder and grabbing handfuls of magazines.  
"Do you know what you're doing?" Noob asked.  
"Do I-of course I know what I'm doing! I'm the baddest stack of awesome to ever walk these halls"  
"So, that's a no"  
"Noob, do you know what time it is"  
"No"  
"It's two seconds 'til." Gunner said.  
"Two seconds 'til what"  
Gunner kicked him in the shin.  
"I should have seen that coming." Noob said, hopping around on the other foot.  
"Yeah, you should have. Come on, we need to get your gear setup."

Training Simulator The two shooters stood in front of the entrance to the simulator in full battle gear.  
"Alright, this is gonna be a simple co-op mission." Gunner said.  
"Co-op"  
"Of course. It wouldn't be fair for it to be a versus. I'd smoke you"  
"Pshh. Whatever"  
"Anyway, just remember, when we get to the gate, we need one of the guards alive. That'll be your job, remember that. Now, let's go." Gunner said, opening the door and stepping inside.  
The holo-chamber had transformed into a jungle at twilight.  
"Just follow me." Gunner whispered.  
"Why are we whispering?" Noob whispered.  
"Dunno. I just wanted to see if you would whisper if I did. Anyway, come on." Gunner replied.  
The two crept through the jungle for several minutes, before coming to a large wall with a gate set in the middle, two men in olive drab uniforms standing in front of it.. The two crouched in the foliage, surveying the scene.  
"Yep, that's a retinal scanner, looks like one that checks the eye for a pulse too. Remember the plan, Noob. Flank around and get'em." Gunner whispered before going wide to the left.  
Gunner came up behind his man, clamping one hand over his mouth and lifting his chin as he drew his knife across the man's throat. He looked over at Noob, who was holding his garotte, starring at the head rolling around at his feet.  
"Oops." Noob said.  
"No, no, we can fix this. You brought duct tape right"  
Noob looked at him like he was retarded before reaching into his rucksack and withdrawing a roll of the afore mentioned tape.  
"Cool. Now, we just tape his head back in place, like so..." Gunner said, attempting to reattach the man's head with the adhesive strips.  
"There's NO way this is gonna work." Noob said.  
"Shut-up." Gunner replied, lifting the man up and sticking his eye to the scanner.  
The red light on the device blinked once...twice...then turned green and the door slid open.  
"I told you." Gunner said.  
"I told you." Noob mocked, right before being slapped in the back of the head.  
The door irised open, revealing several small prefabricated buildings, but something was wrong. Holes were torn in the simulation, showing random bits of the green on black hologrid underneath.  
"Huh. That's weird. I've never-" Gunner started before being interupted by Noob.  
"Oh my God"  
Gunner turned around.  
"Oh shit." he said, seeing the massive mob of undead that had appeared behind them outside the gate.  
"There weren't supposed to be zombies on this one." Gunner said, starring at the mob.  
"Computer, end simulation"  
Nothing.  
"We're gonna die." Noob said.  
"Nah. Boomer's monitoring this. He'll terminate the simm if we get in REAL danger. Unless he's asleep." Gunner said, still looking at the mob.  
"Alright, here's how this is gonna work. You see that tree in front of us?" Gunner asked Noob.  
"Which one"  
Bang!  
"The one I just shot"  
"Yeah"  
"You shoot everything on the left of it, and I'll take everything to the right. Free-fire zone. Light'em up!" Gunner yelled, kneeling down as he began making well-aimed headshots.  
"How do you reload?!" Noob yelled.  
"How do you-what do they teach you in middle school nowadays?! I don't have to babysit-" Gunner yelled.  
"AHH!" Noob yelled, scared senseless.  
He suddenly heard another familiar sound. He looked up, and saw Noob shooting fireballs at the zombies.  
"What the fuck?! Why didn't you tell me you were a cross-class"  
"I didn't know"  
"You didn't know?! They test for that at birth!" Gunner yelled, firing on full auto into the crowd.  
"Boomer! If you can hear this, now would be a REALLY good time to stop the simulation"  
The simm suddenly died, leaving the two of them standing in the middle of the large, empty, green-gridded black room.  
"Jeez, you whine too much." boomer said, walking in.  
"Come on Boomer, it was the kid's first time. Ya almost made'im piss himself"  
Boomer shrugged.  
"By the way, you suck at modding programs"  
Boomer gave Gunner the finger.  
"You cry too much. Besides, the sim used Oracle; I only know C++"  
Gunner turned back to Noob.  
"Anyway, come on Noob. We need to go talk to the Chosen One. Since you're a cross-class, I maybe you can stay here. You can live with me"  
"What?!" Noob said.  
"It's cool. I'll clear ya a spot in my closet."

Room 556, several hours later Gunner and Boomer are sitting in the living room, in the middle of an attempt to Resident Evil 4 without saving.  
"So where's Noob?" Boomer asked, handing the controller over to Gunner after defeating a pair of chainsaw-wielding women.  
"Meh. The Chosen One said that I wasn't 'qualified' to take care of a kid. I'm responsible." Gunner said, stuffing a handful of Bugle snacks into his mouth.  
"I dunno, I think you're pretty mature." Boomer replied.  
"What idiot would trust you with a child?" Mike asked, suddenly interrupting the conversation.  
"You watch how you talk about the Chosen One!" Gunner yelled, spraying crumbs from his mouth.  
By this time, Boomer had paused the game and was watching the exchange intently.  
"Gunner, my headmaster would kick your little retard-tribal headmaster's ass." Mike replied.  
Gunner looked to Boomer, and nodded. Both of them suddenly jumped on Mike, knocking him to the ground.  
"You boys play nice!" Jen yelled as David just shook his head. 


	9. MIA

Room 556, after class 

Gunner ran in the commons room, clutching a large package, closely followed by Boomer.  
"Care package!" Gunner yelled, setting the package on the table and pulling out his bayonet.  
"Use scissors like a normal person!" Jen told him as he continued to ignored her.  
Gunner deftly slashed off the top of the box and dumped it out on the table. Boomer started to reach for something, but withdrew his hand as Gunner swiped at it with the bayonet.  
"Touch my shit Boomer, and I'll stab you"  
"What the hell is that?" Mike asked.  
"My mommy sent me food. Good food, not that bullshit they serve in the cafeteria"  
Gunner sorted through the items; rootbeer barrel candy, gummy bears, cheez-its, both standard and tabasco flavor, and three cans of corn-beef hash.  
"Sweet! My mom sent my favorite food!" he yelled, grabbing one of the cans.  
"Gunner, how are you going to cook that, since you blew up the stove?" Jen said.  
"Hey, that was an accident"  
"Gunner, you tried to bake a gallon milk jug full of gasoline"  
"Half-full. I wanted to get some vapor-pressure"  
"How are you going to cook it, Gunner"  
"I'm borrowin' Pyro's flame-thrower"  
"You will NOT use a flame-thrower in here, do you hear me"  
"Who do you think you are?! You're not my mom"  
"You know, if you didn't speak to him, I bet he'd stop talking." Mike said.  
"Peh. You wish." Gunner said before turning to Boomer.  
"Boomer, does your white mage treat you like a child"  
"Yeah"  
"Do you think she'll mind if we used a flamethrower to cook some food over at your place?" Gunner asked him.  
Boomer shrugged.  
"Not if I don't tell her"  
"Sweet." Gunner said, grabbing a second can and following Boomer out of the room.  
"Those two WILL kill us all." Mike said.  
Several minutes passed, when suddenly, a commotion came from down the hall.  
"Pull!" Gunner's voice yelled, followed by a hissing roar.  
Jen looked at Mike.  
"He didn't just"  
"I'm not goin' out there." Mike interupted.  
"I think Mike's right. The whole hallway could be in flames by now." David said, eyeing the window.  
Jen shook her head, walked to the door and stopped. She took a gulp, and opened the door.  
Contrary to her worst fear, the building was not in the process of burning to the ground. The afore mentioned flamethrower was lying on the ground, a light wisp of smoke drifting from it's barrel. Gunner and Boomer were both sitting next to it, each eating steaming hot hash straight from the cans perched in from of them.  
"Pass the ketchup man." Gunner said to Boomer.  
"How did you two"  
"Jeez, give us some credit. YOu think we'd burn down the building or something?" Gunner asked, inadvertantly spitting several pieces of food as he spoke.  
"Yes"  
"She must think that we have NO idea how to operate our weapons." Boomer said, after swallowing.  
Jen looked around a little more.  
"How did you avoid setting off the sprinklers"  
Gunner and Boomer just looked at each other, before they started laughing.  
"Jen, the sprinklers in this building haven't worked since our freshman year when...uh...someone mixed liquid soap in the system and activated it"  
"I remember that! There were bubbles everywhere, and-wait a minute! THat was you, wasn't it"  
Gunner shrugged.  
"Let's say, hypo-hippa"  
"Hypothetically?" Boomer suggested.  
"Thank you. Yes, let's say, hypothetically, that I did. There's no way I could complete such an undertaking alone. I mean, first I'd have to plan it, and then execution would require...probably four people just to haul the soap"  
"Five people." Boomer added, putting a heaping spoonful of food in his mouth before pouring ketchup directing into his mouth.  
Gunner shrugged.  
"I want names!" Jen said, menacing Gunner with her hammer.  
"Name, rank, serial number, and date of birth dude!" Boomer yelled helpfully.  
"I won't say nothin'. You can't make me talk"  
"Wanna bet?" Jen replied,cocking back her mallet.  
Jen heard a metallic sound at her feet, and looked down just in time to see a smoke grenade bounce against her boot.  
"Gunner"  
The grenade gave off a poof, and the hallway filled with smoke.  
"Fallback!" Gunner yelled from somewhere in the white fog.  
"Jen could hear vague movement, but the architecture of the hallway made judging direction difficult.  
"Three-foxtrot?" Boomer asked.  
"Three-fox sounds good." Gunner's voice said again.  
When the smoke cleared, Gunner and Boomer were gone, along with the flamethrower, and of course, the food.  
Jen stratched her head.  
"Where the hell did they go?" she wondered aloud as she started back to the room.

Room 556, the next morning 

It was late in the morning the next day, a saturday.  
"Gunner still hasn't come back, guys." Jen said, plopping down on the couch.  
"He's probably passed out in someone else's room after drinking all night." Mike said.  
"Normally yeah, but his shot glass is still here. And he never goes drinking with out it. We need to find him"  
"And how are you proposing we find him?" David asked, curious.  
"Well...uh...we ask around"  
"Fuck it, I don't have anything better to do." Mike said.  
The three began walking around the school, first just looking for him, and then began asking questions; both techniques got them nowhere.  
Eventually they ended up behind the gym, where they found the four shooters, Tracker, Coaxial, Bushwacker and Athena throwing dice in the alley behind the gym.  
"Have any of you four seen Gunner?" Jen asked.  
They all looked up, and answered quickly upon seeing Jen.  
"No."They all answered rapidly in unison.  
"That was a quick answer." Jen said.  
"Yeah? Well maybe I don't like you." Athena said.  
"Why do you always wanna spend so much time around Gunner anyway?" she finished.  
The three other shooters just looked at each, puzzled. Coaxial mouthed the word 'What?' to Tracker, who shrugged.  
"And maybe Gunner told us to never tell you where he was." Bushwacker added.  
"Dude, we don't know where he is." Coaxial said.  
"Shut-up moron!" Bushwacker yelled at him.  
"He didn't come back last night. I'm afraid something's happened to him." Jen told them.  
"Yeah, Gunner was supposed to...do stuff...with us last night, and he didn't show up. Gunner's never missed...stuff...before. That IS unusual..." Tracker trailed off.  
"And wasn't Boomer supposed to be there too?" Bushwacker asked.  
Jen gave them a quick run-down of what had happened the night before.  
"He said three-foxy or something. Is that a place?" Jen asked.  
"Yeah. It's a rally point somewhere on school grounds. SHIT!" Tracker said, rolling snake-eyes.  
"So he's there." Jen said.  
"Nah, from what you said, they probably just used it as a rendevous point. Just a place to meet up before they went to where ever they were really going. But we can look anyway"  
"Alright, let's go." Jen said.  
"I said WE'D look. Shooter RPs are a closely guarded secret"  
"I'm sure you guys know all our class secrets." Jen replied.  
"Hey, it's not our problem you guys don't have good information security." Athena replied off-hand.  
"Wait, so you're saying that the shooters have some kind of secret tunnel system"  
"No." Athena said.  
"Anyway, we'll check the point, and a few of his hang-outs, and get back to you. Say...here in three hours." Tracker said.  
Jen sighed.  
"Alright."

Room 556, three hours later 

"So we checked three-foxtrot, all we found were two empty cans of corned-beef hash, and pyro's flamethrower with a note to return it to him." "Which means you kept the flamethrower, right?" David asked, rolling his eyes.  
"No. We do a lot of things, but you never take another shooter's weapon. It's just not cool." Bushwacker replied.  
"Anyway, we checked a few of his other favorite spots, no dice. Frankly, I'm at a loss-" Tracker began.  
"Wait a minute! You guys remember when Gunner had to hide out from Hannah?" Athena replied, although the amount of hate she put into the the name 'Hannah' was slightly off-putting.  
"You talkin' about the boiler room?" Coaxial asked.  
"Yeah, it's worth a try." Bushwacker conceded.  
"Well, let's go then." Jen said.  
The four shooters began leading the other three through the school grounds.  
"Uh...we passed shooter hall." David said.  
"Yeah, Gunner's not an IDIOT." Athena replied.  
"I beg to differ." Mike muttered.  
"DO you think Gunner would hide out in his own classes' building? That'd be one of the first places Hannah would have looked." Athena finished, not hearing Mike.  
"So where are we going?" Jen asked.  
"The administration building." Bushwacker answered.  
"But we're not allowed in there!" Jen yelled.  
"Gunner was right. She does yell alot." Bushwacker said to Tracker, who nodded.  
"Anyway, we're not TECHNICALLY supposed to be in there, so we're gonna need to sort of...sneak in." Athena told them.  
"Great. So now we're breaking into the teacher's dorm building." Jen said with a sigh.  
"No we're not BREAKING in, we're SNEAKING in. There's a difference. Now stop making so much noise." Athena told her.  
Jen 'hmmph'ed and followed them quietly. Bushwacker, in the lead, stopped at the first corner, and pulled a small mirror stuck to the end of a telescoping rod. He extended it slowly around the corner, checking for teachers. He gave a thumbs-up, signaling the all clear. The seven students, led by Tracker, snuck down the down, around another corner, and finally down three flights of stairs and through a single locked door (with Tracker easily picked.  
"This is it." Athena said simply.  
The boiler room was massive, about a two hundred meters by five hundred meters, although it was so cluttered with machinery and junk that it seemed much smaller. The walls of the room were made of what must once have been red brick, although now the majority of it was coated in black, green, and red mold. The room was poorly lit, only a few bulbs hung from the ceiling, and the sound of water-dripping could be heard from somewhere deeper in the boiler room. The boiler room was a maze of boilers, pipes, and storage rooms constructed from chain-link fencing.  
"This is gonna be fun." Mike muttered, as he prepped a spell.  
Mike summoned a small, floating ball of light to illuminate their surroundings, which Athena promptly grabbed and crushed between her hands, snuffing it out.  
"What the hell"  
"Dude, do you WANT him to know we're here?!" Athena whispered loudly.  
"Yes. That would be part of FINDING him." Mike replied.  
"Do you WANT him to shoot you? Because he will, since we're in his turf"  
"His turf?" Jen asked.  
"Yes. Now shut-up." Athena said.  
Tracker again took the lead, and motioned for the others to follow as he carefully and silently threaded his way around boxes, between stacks of chairs and under pipes. As they went on, a light suddenly became visible in the distance. Tracker motioned for a halt, and Athena went forward to approach the light. Several seconds, almost a minute passed.  
"It's clear." she yelled back.  
The others emerged into the sphere of light cast by a pair of battery-powered lanterns. Empty ration packs were scattered around two chairs had been taken from one of the numberless stacks elsewhere in the boiler room, and set around a table constucted from four more chairs with a sheet of moldy plywood set on top of them. Playing cards were strewn around the table, which Bushwacker was examining.  
"ERF." he said simply.  
"What?" David asked.  
"ERF. They were playing ERF. Two people." Bushwacker explained.  
"Gunner and Boomer." Coaxial, said, still looking around.  
Athena pulled a Pelican chest from the shadows just outside the range of the lantern's illumination.  
"I KNEW Gunner kept a cache down here!" Tracker yelled.  
"A cache?" Jen asked increduously.  
"Yeah, a cache. Every first year shooter has to develop a system of caches throughout the school grounds. Occassionally they find old caches while doing repairs or landscaping; sometimes they find one from someone famous, like Masterchief or some of the original G.I. Joe team members." Athena explained.  
"Riiiight. So where's Gunner?" Jen asked.  
"Not here." Tracker replied simply, still prowling around the light's perimeter.  
"Really? We hadn't noticed." Mike replied, sneering.  
"No, I mean he's not down here. He would never have left the lantern's going. It's a dead give-away as to where he is. Even if he heard us and decided to bug-out, he'd have killed the lights first." Bushwacker explained slowly, as if speaking to a child, a tone which did not sit well with Mike.  
"Look fucktards, you guys are the LAST people who should be talking down to me! YOu people are the biggest bunch of"  
Mike was suddenly interupted by the sound of four weapons being cocked.  
"I think y'all are outnumbered, so you might wanna watch your tone." Athena told him.  
The four shooters are glared at him before returning to their previous tasks.  
"Unless...you don't think he's trying to ambush us, do you? You know, use the lantern as bait, to draw us into an area where he can see us?" Coaxial asked suddenly.  
"Nah, he wouldn't need the light. He's got thermal goggles." Bushwacker replied.  
"Where would Gunner get thermal goggles?" David asked.  
"He...uh...he won them off me in a game of BS." Bushwacker said.  
"I got tracks...no wait..." Tracker started, kneeling down to examine the tracks in the dust more closely.  
"Bushwacker, get over here with one of those lanterns." he said.  
Bushwacker did as he was asked, and the pair of them examined the tracks, pointing and muttering. Mike came closer listen to the two.  
"It's definately two sets of tracks and two sets of marks." Bushwacker said.  
"Yeah, each of the footprints sets corresponds to one of the sets of unusual markings. This set goes with the drag marks, and this one goes to...what do you think? You think those are struggle marks?" Tracker asked.  
"That's the only thing I'm coming up with." Bushwacker responded.  
"Look at the sets of standard tracks though." Tracker said, pointing.  
"They're barefoot and too big to be either Gunner or Boomer." Tracker finished.  
"I don't like this." Bushwacker said.  
"Regardless, we outta find them. Besides, maybe we can get extra credit or something for this." Tracker replied.  
Tracker turned around.  
"Bushwacker, put the lantern back. Everybody form-up on me. We're gonna follow the tracks." Tracker announced.  
Tracker led them about twenty meters into the darkness when he stopped. He gave a hand signal and Bushwacker produced a flashlight which he aimed at the ground, illuminating a discarded machete and a pool of blood about the size of a dinner plate. Coaxial bent down and picked up the machete, holding it in front of the light.  
"That's definately Boomer's. See that nick in the blade? That was from Gunner's kukri when they were sword fighting." Athena said.  
"Why where they sword fighting?" Jen asked.  
"Because they were bored." Athena replied as if the answer were obvious"  
Tracker knelt down and pulled off his gloves, pinching some of the blood between his fingers, swirling it around on his finger tip. He lifted it to his nose and sniffed it before finally licking his finger.  
"That's not sanitary at all." Jen said.  
"Moblin." Tracker said definitively.  
Tracker sudenly perked up and gave a quick hand gesture upon which Bushwacker promptly killed the light. In the dim light still reaching them from the two lanterns, the others could see Tracker touch his ear, and then point in front of him; signalling that he had heard something in the direction pointed. Athena used another rapid series of hand gestures to direct the four shooters into a quick diamond formation before ordering them to quietly move forward. They slowly moved through the gloom, threading their way through dretritus and machinery that that hadn't been touched in years. The wall of the room loomed in front of them, appearing suddenly in the dark of the room. Tracker had his night-vision goggles down, and pointed slightly off to the left, motioning for everyone to look. The hole in the wall would have been completely invisible if not for the sickly red light barely eminating from it.  
"Prints go in there." Tracker said simply, shrugging.  
Athena muttered something under her breath before giving the signal to stack on the door. At the command, Bushwacker, then Coaxial, Tracker, and Athena silently burst into the tunnel, weapons up and took their positions, spread out at best they could inside the tight confines of the tunnel. The tunnel walls were roughly hewn, the texture became more visible farther down the tunnel where the red light was brighter. Tracker turned and looked at the wall of the tunnel, ungloving a hand and running his fingers over the side.  
"These walls are fresh, probably within the last day." he said as he put his glove back on.  
Athena nodded and gave the gesture to move out. Suddenly there was an explosion ahead, followed by a lot of gunfire. Gunner and Boomer suddenly came running full speed down the hallway.  
"Hi guys!" Gunner yelled as he ran past them.  
"Hello!" Boomer added, hot on Gunner's heels.  
"What was that all abou-HOLY SHIT!" Coaxial yelled, seeing the mob of moblins chasing after Gunner and Boomer.  
The large group of fat, pig-like creatures seemed very angry, something that always seemed to happen around Gunner.  
"Fuck me!" Coaxial yelled, turning and letting loose a long burst from his rifle.  
Without a word, David unsheathed his sword and moved forward to take on the mob, which had reached a choke point narrow enough that only one porky moblin could come through at a time. Without a word, David slashed and stabbed, cutting them down one by one. A particularly large moblin slashed at him with an ax so large David wondered in the back of his mind how he could swing it in such close quarters. David parried, easily turning aside his blow before slashing his blade across the creatures' throat, slicing it open easily. David finished by punching out with his hand-guard, knocking over the dying moblin.  
"Clear!" yelled Gunner, who had returned to the fray by now.  
David jumped back, and Gunner thrust the barrel of his rifle over the small stack of bodies and emptied his magazine down the tunnel at the approaching horde.  
"Bushwacker!" he yelled as his weapon clicked empty.  
Gunner fell back from the hole, and was instantly replaced by Bushwacker as he changed his mag. The six shooters took turns firing and reloading, before Gunner gave the order to fall back. The six shooters, as well as Mike who was now casting fireballs, began a bounding retreat back to where the tunnel had breached the boiler room.  
"David, go get help! We'll hold them here." Gunner yelled.  
David nodded and took off through the boiler room, presumably headed for the stairs.  
"Gunner, I'm runnin' a little low on ammo." Athena said.  
"Athena, Bushwacker, go get the box from my cache"  
The two shooters ran back to retrieve the chest and ammo, leaving only four shooters to hold the mouth of the tunnel.  
"So what was back there?!" Mike yelled over the gunfire.  
"Oh, just, you know...their lair." Gunner said, ducking back into cover to reload.  
"Jesus Gunner, how do you keep getting into these messes?" Jen asked.  
"Hey, they kidnapped US!" Boomer yelled.  
"It's always someone else's fault isn't it?" Jen replied sarcastically.  
"This time it was!" Gunner yelled.  
"Boomer! Can you do something about this opening?!" Tracker yelled.  
"Negative! No demo!" Boomer replied, slipping more shells into his shotgun.  
Just then Athena and Bushwacker returned with Gunner's cache.  
"Jez Gunner, you got enough ammo?" Bushwacker grunted.  
Mike spared a second and glanced into the trunk, which was filled to the brim with ammunition, grenades, a few medical supplies, a bowie knife and an M-1911 pistol.  
"Damn Gunner, preparing for a war?" he asked, returning to throwing fireballs.  
"Maybe!" Gunner replied defensively.  
A clatter came from the stairs behind them, followed by the sound of various objects being pushed out of the way as several large objects made their way towards the students from the stairs. Gunner turned, and caught sight of three members of the school's rapid response squad. All were outfitted in massive suits of powered armour, two armed with miniguns and the last one with a flamethrower. The one armed with the flamethrower spoke, his voice toneless and mechanical after being transfered through the suit's loudspeaker.  
"This situation is under control. Clear the area and report to the front desk." the man said before tromping down the tunnel, squirting streams of flame as he went.  
Gunner sniffed the air twice.  
"Does anyone else smell bacon?" he asked as he started to drag his chest back into the shadows, no doubt to secret it away again.  
The others began making their way back to the stairs, and by extension, the front desk. It took about five minutes for them arrive at the front desk, and about another five after that for Gunner to arrive. BY the time he did, Mrs. Stevens, the alchemy professor was already waiting with the others.  
"Alright, now that everyone is here, who wants to explain what the nine of you were doing knee-deep in an off-limits building?" she asked.  
"Well, you see...there was this wormhole and-" Gunner began. 


	10. Zombies!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Room 556, early morning, Christmas break ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gunner, and a dozen other shooters are hanging out in the room. David, Mike and Jen had gone home for the break, leaving Gunner alone with the room. While home on break after completing his first year, Gunner had used a thermite grenade to light a barbeque grill, and after that had been told by his parents not to come back until he understood what he did wrong and was sorry; neither of which Gunner had done yet. Instead of spending the time alone, Gunner invited several of his friends over to hang-out. The majority of the night had been spent watching a zombie movie marathon (Boomer's idea), including 'Dawn of the Dead' and all three Resident Evil movies.  
"Did you guys hear that?!" Pyro yelled suddenly.  
"I heard you scream like a little girl." Athena said.  
"Dude, I swear, I heard moaning!"  
"Like the way I made your mom moan?" Gunner said.  
"You guys are dicks. I know what I heard."  
"Fine, everyone grab your shit. Let's fan out and look for Pyro's 'zombie'. It's probably just someone gettin' their groove on anyway." Gunner said.  
"Getting ideas, Gunner?" Athena asked hopefully.  
"No." Gunner said, oblivious to her.  
"Anyone sees anything, give a shout over the radio. Boomer, Tracker, and.....I guess Athena are with me; we're team 1. Pryo, Scud, Bushwacker and Coaxial, you're team 2. Sarge, Scopes, Doc, Raven and Clutch are 3. Roll out." Gunner said, handing out team assignments.  
After a quick argument which was settled by a game of rock-paper-scissors, it was decided that team one would search the dorm, team two would search the grounds, and team three would search the nearby 'Hall of Magic'. The shooters ran a quick radio check, and then dispersed. To tell the truth, Gunner was happy to be doing something militant again; he hadn't done any training in the last three days (and his ass had fallen asleep from watching movies all night.  
Team one began searching every room in the dorm, an effort that was aided by Boomer's skill with lockpicks. About a half-hour later, Gunner and his team were close to finishing up the last floor of the dorms. Several other shooters had joined the search by now (many of them after having team 1 break-in and rush their rooms), and two more teams had been formed by shooters who either thought it was a sound theory, or were also bored out of their skulls.  
"1, this 3. The hall is locked-down. We checked all the doors and windows on the first two floors, but they're locked up tight. We're gonna try to gain entry through the sewers, over."  
"3, this 1. Roger that, over."  
"Right. We'll probably loose reception once we get far enough into the sewers, our next transmission will be from inside the hall."  
"Understood. Good luck and happy hunting. 1 out."  
"You know, if this was a zombie movie, the sewers would be a REALLY bad place to go." Boomer said.  
"Shut up. You're retarded." Gunner replied succinctly.  
Gunner's team finished searching their dorm building and went outside to sit on the front steps. Just as they stepped outside, Gunner got a transmission on the radio.  
"One, this is two. We're hearin' gunfire from the direction of the Hall of Magic. Please advise." the radio said.  
"Roger that. Return to the dorms. Team 3 should be able to handle themselves. We'll stand-by until they call in. One out."  
"I told you it was a bad idea." Boomer said.  
"Shut-up." Gunner replied.  
"One to all units, return to the dorms."  
The other teams chirped their replies. Just as the first members of team four began to filter in, Gunner finally heard back from team three.  
"3 to any recieving! We just fought our way out of the sewers! They were everwhere! We're pinned-down in the magic hall!" Scope's voice said.  
"Calm down three. This is Gunner. What's going on? Who's got you cut-off?"  
"Zombies! They just keep coming!"  
"Roger that. We're comin' to get you. Which end of the building are you at?"  
"We're in the east end! Hurry up!"  
"Roger. Gunner out."  
By now all the other teams had arrived.  
"Alright, here's the situation. There's a zombie outbreak on campus. Team two, grab duffels, get to the armoury and pull all the ammo you can. Four, start fortifying the dorm building. concentrate on the first floor. barricade all the doors except the back entrance. That's where we'll bring in team three. Team five, grab everyone not on one of our teams and get them to the roof to cover us and team two. Break!"  
Gunner and his team took off towards the hall.  
"I told you it was zombies." Boomer said.  
"Not a good time, Boomer." Gunner replied.  
They were about three-quarters of the way to the hall when Gunner spoke again.  
"Boomer, you got any explosives?"  
"Of course. I got about a kilo of PE-4 in my pack."  
Good. I want you to blast through the door when we get there." Gunner said.  
Gunner put his radio to his mouth.  
"Three, this is one. We're about one mike out. Get away from the door, we're blastin' it. Out."  
Gunner turned suddenly and blasted a zombie coming up out of a manhole.  
"They've broken containment!" he yelled, headshotting the first zombie.  
"Boomer! We'll cover you, get that wall down!" Gunner yelled.  
Gunner quickly arranged himself, Tracker and Athena to pull security as Boomer set his explosives.  
"We're good! Everybody get low!" Boomer yelled, running for cover as he trailed a length of shock-tube behind him. The others took off hot on his heels.  
"On my mark!" Gunner yelled to Boomer.  
"On your what?!" Boomer replied.  
"Mark!" Gunner yelled.  
Boomer detonated the explosives, the blast wave of which threw Gunner several feet through the air.  
Gunner picked himself up, dusted himself off, and turned around to look at Boomer.  
"You're a dick." he said.  
Gunner turned around and saw the damage to the building for the first time. Instead of blowing a hole in the wall, Boomer had actually set his explosives on a load-bearing beam and brought down that whole section of the wall from the ground to the roof. Gunner shrugged and stormed over the rubble, coming face to face with an undead creature. The zombie screeched at him, and Gunner screamed back before he buttstroked the creature with his G-36. The force of the blow knocked the creature back and Gunner finished it with a quick headshot.  
"Three, let's go!" Gunner yelled, firing a quick burst into the face of a particularly fat zombie.  
"Let's go let's go let's go!" Boomer told the members of the other team.  
Gunner, Boomer, Tracker and Athena laid down cover fire as the five members of team three ran out of the remains of the building.  
"Head for the dorm and don't look back! Go in the back door!" Gunner yelled as he began directing his team in a bounding retreat. Gunner and Boomer, the last two left in the building, finally broke off and headed for the back door.  
As they fell back, several of the zombies took off after them in a dead sprint.  
"Gunner?! Why are they running?!" Boomer yelled at him.  
"Fucked if I know! Run faster!" Gunner replied.  
The pair ran at full speed across the campus, jumping benches and dodging between trash cans and stanchions. The shooters on the rooftop opened up on the mob chasing them as they got chose to the dorm, although several of the shots were closer to the pair than Gunner would have liked. The door opened just in time and Gunner and Boomer piled in, followed by a zombie. Gunner and Boomer had both dived in the doorway, leaving both of them tangled on the floor in a heap, defenseless against the undead creature. Gunner rolled over, realizing he was about to take a hit, when suddenly the zombie's head was pinned to the wall with a longsword. Gunner untangled himself, stood, and looked up to see who was responsible, where he saw a familiar face.  
"Blades!" Gunner yelled, giving a complicated handshake to the shooter.  
"I haven't seen you since....." Gunner trailed off.  
The two thought for a minute.  
"Dungeon Crawling 101, freshman year!" Blades yelled suddenly.  
"Yeah, that was with.....Ms. Hernandez, right?" Gunner said.  
"Gunner, who's he?" Boomer asked.  
"This.....is Blades. You know how Doc is a cross-class; a shooter and a white mage? Well, Blades is a shooter and a swordsman."  
Blades waved to Boomer.  
"Anyway, I think we should try and get back in there and determine the source of the undead." Gunner said.  
"You want to go back in there?!" Boomer asked.  
"Yep. You in?"  
"Hell yeah."  
"Alright. Boomer, Tracker, Athena, Pyro, Doc, Blades and Raven! Grab more ammo and form up. We're goin' back in."

The shooters Gunner had assigned for the mission nodded and grabbed extra ammo from the duffel bags team two had just brought back from the armory. Boomer and Athena, his second and third respectively, were in the team, along with his buddies Tracker and Pryo, and cross-classes Doc and Pyro. Also included was the first year student Raven, whom Gunner brought because Boomer was trying to get into her pants. Gunner left Boomer in charge of the party's preparations while he journeyed to the roof to get a better handle on the situation.

He liked what he saw. Empty shell casings, power cells and energy packs were littered sparsely across the rooftop, showing him that his shooters were picking their shots and conserving their ammo. Their was little danger of the mob breaking in downstairs due to efficient fortifying efforts of the shooters down there, and the students on the roof had all the time in the world and a clear line of fire. Gunner walked around the roof for a few minutes, inspecting the positions and taking a few shots himself. The most important thing he noticed was that the vast majority of the horde had, in their single-minded instinct for meat, congregated around the front of the building, the side nearest to their point of origin. Gunner walked the perimeter of the roof, planning their route to the Hall of Magic.

From what he was seeing, they could exit the dorms from the rear where there were maybe a dozen undead milling about, hook left, and cut through the Alchemy Building, whose long, thin structure would take them with a few dozen meters of the destroyed wall of the Hall of Magic. The Alchemy Building was built like a fortress, more though to protect those outside from hazards inside that vice-versa. Unfortunately, this fact would work both and against the shooters. While it meant that it was unlikely that the zombies had infiltrated the building, it also meant that they would have holy Hell getting in.

Determining that it was a better plan than none, he pulled a few shooters off the front wall, stationing them to thin out the zombies at the rear of the building and provide covering fire for the party once they sortied. Vaguely satisfied, he grunted and returned to the bottom floor where Boomer was finishing up his inspection of the troops.

"They good Boomer?"

"Hell yeah they're good. Let's get this ball rollin'." he replied.

Gunner motioned to the rear door.

"Let's do it then. Double column, staggered, on me." he said, giving the associated hand gesture.

And with that, Gunner and his team were out the rear door. Sporadic fire popped from the roof, targeting any of the zombies that turned towards the team as the eight shooters ran for the door of the Alchemy Building. The building was, of course, locked up. The door was several inches of steel, secured by an internal deadbolt.

"Boomer, blow it." Gunner said as he directed the others into a semi-circle around the door.

"With what dude? I'm black on bang." he said, inspecting the lock.

"Can you pick it?"

Boomer looked at him funny.

"Gunner, this thing has like 18 tumblers. It would take me HOURS."

"Fuck me." Gunner muttered before turning back to the others.

"Ideas?!" he yelled out to the team.

Tracker came up, Boomer taking his place in the formation. He pulled his sidearm, a Texas Instruments 401k laser pistol and began fiddling with it.

"What're ya doin'?" Gunner asked, popping off a few shots.

"Unless I misread the TM for this thing-"

"A distinct possibility you illiterate bastard." Boomer interupted.

"-I can reset it to fire a high power, penetrating, short range beam, basically turning it into a laser torch." Tracker continued, ignoring the peanut gallery.

"Well, get on it then." Gunner said unnecessarily.

Tracker giggled to himself as he finished reconfiguring the pistol and pressed it to the door, triggering it's now four inch, brilliant blue beam and going to work on the door.

"Sooner's better than later." Gunner urged as a 'small' mob of zombies began to shamble through the gap between the dorms and the Alchemy Building.

"Patience is a virtue."

"No, it's not." Gunner replied, firing into the mob.

They could hold the mob at bay for now, since it was channeled between the buildings and caught in a crossfire between Gunner's own force and the shooters on the rooftop. But it wouldn't last forever, and neither would their ammunition supply.

"We're in!" Tracker yelled. suiting actions to words as he kicked open the door.

The eight shooters hussled into the doorway, closing it behind themselves, after which Tracker promptly welded it shut again.

The Alchemy Building was a cavernous structure, constructed of bare concrete and divided into equally sized labs and storage areas. The building smelled strongly of ozone, sulphur, and burnt metal; a smell Gunner approved of. They had entered through a side door, and Gunner led them down the small corridor to the main hallway, which they followed down to the main entrance at the north side of the building. The group's trigger fingers were twitchy, but it appeared that Gunner had been correct in his assessment that the building would be clear. They reached the end of the hallway without incident and stacked up as Gunner unbarred and opened the door.

The shooters crossed the open ground from the doorway into the Hall of Magic at full speed racing across as a group. They stormed up the ramp of debris that had once been the east wall of the hall, and ran into a horde of undead. Pyro's flamthrower and Boomer's shotgun cleared a swath through the zombies while the others followed and kept them from entering the formation's sides and rear, but ammunition would be out soon if they didn't find a way to stop them. But the force was already committed, so Gunner did the only thing he could; he ordered his team to continue pushing forward, deeper into the building.

The eight shooters ammunition supply slwoly dwindled as they pushed their way farther into the building's dark and gothic interior. It wasn't very hard to determine where they were spawning from; it was move difficult to actually move in that direction, but they managed. And suddenly, they were in there. 'There' was the Special Projects room in the basement of the Hall of Magic; a room reserved for particularly large or time-consuming projects that wouldn't be feasible in a regular magic lab. The room was dominated by a gigantic rock ring almost twenty meters in diameter, covered in glowing runes in a language Gunner couldn't even begin to comprehend. The room was packed, almost wall-to-wall with zombies, and every few seconds another one materialized from the portal with a 'ziff'.

"We need to close that. Any ideas?" Gunner yelled as he fired off a burst at head height, almost every round dropping a zombie.

"Yeah, just gimme a minute to pull a micro-nuke outta my bung-hole!" Tracker yelled.

"Plasma!" Pyro yelled as he fried a half-dozen undead with a burst from his flamethrower.

"What?!" Boomer and Athena yelled simultaneously.

Gunner nodded, instantly understanding what he was getting at. Pyro's General Dynamics Odin Mark IV plasma pistol contained a phase chamber that, when charged, became highly volatile; an explosive reaction who's power was directly related to the force with detonated it.

"Good call! Athena! Can you hit it in midair?!" Gunner shouted.

"HELL YEAH!" Athena yelled, firing her laser rifle into the mob.

"Let's do it to it! Cover down on Pryo and Athena's sector peoples!" Gunner yelled.

They would only get one shot at this. Pyro would ahve to throw the weapon at the portal, and if Athena missed her shot, it would sail on and into the portal, gone to God only knew where. Pyro unholstered his pistol, drew back his arm, and let it fly. Athena brought her rifle up, tracked the pistol for a fraction of a second, and fired a single, high-power shot. The whole room held their breath (atleast those still breathing did) as the bolt soared through the air. It finally connected with the spinning pistol, and released first a blinding flash, then a tremendous blast wave, which threw the shooters around the basement, covering them in pulverized zombie. When their vision finally cleared several seconds later, the gateway was gone; scattered in pieces around the room, much like the surrounding zombies.

"Ug. It's GOOEY." Athena said, trying unsuccessfully to wipe off the chunky zombie goo that currently had the viscosity of crude oil.

"Eww! It's in my mouth! It tastes like hagis and pennies!" Boomer yelled.

"This is worse than the time I swam through sewage." Gunner added, clearing what he could from the moving parts of his rifle.

"Dude, I'm never gonna get this outta my hair."

This was a statement that caused a blanket of silence; mainly because it had not come from Raven or Athena, but rather from Tracker. Everyone stopped and looked at him.

"Just sayin', cuz, you know....." he muttered.

"Yeah, anyway, we need to get back to the barracks so we can organize some killteams to mop up the grounds. And so we can shower. Definately so we can shower." Gunner said, the last part met by murmurs of agreement.

Boomer turned to Raven, both of them covered in zombie goo.

"So, you doin' anything later?"

"Nothing involving you."

"HA!" Gunner yelled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Roof of Dorm Building 3, Several Hours Later ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gunner, showered and free of most of the gunk, surveyed the school grounds from his vantage point. Other than structural damage, craters, expended shells, magazines and powercells littering the grounds, and roving, heavily armed groups of shooters, the campus had returned to normal. Gunner dusted his hands.

"Well, it looks like my work here is done." Gunner said to no one in particular. 


End file.
